Are You Listening?

Memories

2011-04-03T14:34:00.005-03:00

"Listening to Leonard Cohen. I love his music. He answers something in my heart. His "That Don't Make It Junk" is playing now. Here is a link to listen to it . I introduced my friend Marilyn Farrell to this song. It touched a cord in her. She loved it. Everytime I hear it, I think of her. I miss her. I wish she was here listening to it with me. Rest well, my dear friend. You are loved and missed", I whisper.

Are you listening?

Lonely versus being alone

2011-03-28T12:59:00.002-03:00

"I am lonely. So much at times I feel I can not breathe. I am paralyzed and can't find my way out. I don't know how to even begin to move forward. I have been in this relationship 19 years on April 1st. I should have known, eh. April Fool's on me. I have been miserable for 13 years. For the past 6 years I have been really trying to change things. Over 8 months ago I told him if things didn't change, I would leave him. I gave him a year. Nothing has changed, in fact it has gotten worse. He is completely disconnected. We have nothing. There is no communication at all. On my 53 birthday, on the 18th of March, I told him it was over. He has not said one word about it, not one word! I don't think he believes me. I always just accept his behaviour. This time I am NOT going to. This time I am going to find a way out. I will NOT be afraid any longer.

I would rather be alone, than lonely," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Poem

2011-03-27T16:19:00.003-03:00

"I saw a black crow in a field of white snow.

Crow on snow

black on white

warm on cold

free on bound

life on death

crow on snow.

What do you think?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

A New Year

2011-01-02T16:08:00.002-04:00

"I am not too good at keeping resolutions. So I won't make one to keep at this blog this year. I will just do my best. A quick update on my life. My girls didn't move away. :) I am so happy. They are staying here and I see them on a regular basis. My granddaughter comes for sleepovers and we love having her. My daughter and I regularly do things together. My son is engaged to a lovely young woman. My partner is looking forward to retirement in 1 1/2 years. My mother is still driving me crazy, THAT won't ever change. She has a boyfriend now, in Kansas and spent a month there in October/November. She will be going for another visit in the spring. Me, I have gone back to school. I took a course in Social Psychology and got an A. Not bad for someone who got her degree 31 years ago! I took a yoga course, loved it and plan on taking another. I have started doing Passion Parties and am having a blast. 2011 is going to be MY year, I whisper.

Are you listening?

My Heart is Breaking

2010-03-24T23:53:00.003-03:00

"My daughter Sarah and 3 year old granddaughter Riley live with us. Tonight Sarah told me that she has applied for a job in British Columbia and if she gets it she and Riley will be moving. I can't bear the thought of not having her and Riley with me. I love hearing Riley's little footsteps stomping up the stairs as she calls out "Meme, where are you?'. The house will be so empty without her and her dear mommy. Three thousand miles away. How will I survive?

And yet, I know that this is what Sarah needs to do. She is not happy here in New Brunswick, there are no jobs for her in her field and she needs to move so she can take care of herself and her little girl. I am so proud of her, she has done so well with school and working and raising her little girl. Riley is a wonderful, bright, happy little girl. She is her meme's angel.

I love you my girls," I whisper.

Are you listening?

A New Year

2010-01-01T22:13:00.003-04:00

"2010? Where did 2009 go? It seems to have gone so quickly that I am not sure how it could have past. It was an eventful year. I was busy with my little granddaughter who is now almost 3 years old. I got another dog, a little minature pincher. We adopted him from a rescue group in Ontario. My mom was diagnosed with the beginning stages of Alzheimers disease. My partner Bob, cut his finger very badly with his table saw and was off work for 2 months. My whole routine was turned upside down. Another friend of ours died. The number of dead just keep adding up. A boy we knew years ago ended his life in December. More friends of my daughter died. They are too young to be leaving this world now. Bob's niece has been ill since April and no one knows what is the matter with her. His brother has been diagnosed with a rare disease that only 1 in 100,000 people get. It just goes on and on. When will it end?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

My Bad

2009-04-23T11:03:00.002-03:00

"Well, all my good intentions for writing regularily this year haven't worked out. I have been sooo busy with my granddaughter and mother that I don't seem to have time to breath at times. I still want to write, so I will keep attempting to do so. Perhaps every Sunday?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

War, Inc.

2008-11-08T22:23:00.003-04:00

"For a wonderfully satirical look at the war in Iraq, watch this movie "War, Inc." . It paints a perfect picture of the commercialization of war," I whisper.

Are you listening?

I am proud

2008-11-05T22:33:00.003-04:00

"Today I am proud to be descended from over 300 years of Americans. I might have been the first member of my family born in Canada, but I was raised to feel American, a feeling that the last few years have made me ashamed of. Today I am no longer ashamed. I am hopeful. I believe that the world now has a future that will be good. Thank you America for voting for change, for voting for Obama," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Garbage Warrior

2008-11-03T22:00:00.002-04:00

"I just finished watching a wonderful documentary called "Garbage Warrior". It is about a man who builds houses that are completely off the grid. If I was a few years younger and not ill, it is something that I would most certainly do. I find the idea of self sufficiency and living off the grid so inviting. Not to be dependent on others for heat, water or food would be wonderful. Here are some more links about this fascinating man and his life's work - GaiamLife , EcoSherpa . Hope he inspires you", I whisper.

Are you listening?

Samhain

2008-10-31T22:53:00.002-03:00

"Tonight is Samhain or Halloween as it is more commonly known. Tonight the veil between us and those who have gone on before is thin, a time of remembrance of those whom we have loved. A time to say say their names so that they are never forgotten. Here are those who I remember tonight.

Jim Bertram - I miss you Jim. I am glad I got to say goodbye old friend.
Marilyn Farrell - I miss you my friend and think of you whenever I see a crow.
Braun Scott Woodfield
Crista Carlson
Sue Bone
Ruby Winn
Annie Lim
Louis Bryson
Roxie Bryson
Maude Kenyon
Willard Kenyon
Sarah Elizabeth Julian
Rachel Ann King
Daniel Wesley King
Rachel Mariah Julian
Lewis Julian
Floyd Julian
Claude Julian
Henrietta Wikelund
Axel Wikelund
Philip Wikelund
Kay Starky
Howard Wikelund
Karen Wikelund
Dorothy Wikelund
Erik Gustave Wikelund
karin Augusta Wikelund
Harold Wikelund
Edwin Wikelund
Ella Wikelund
Violet Wikelund
Lydia Catherine Julian
Alfred Clinton Julian
Muray Samuel Bunker
Lena Elisabeth Bunker

Thinking of you all," I whisper.

Are you listening?

A Hard Week

2008-08-24T15:27:00.002-03:00

"This has been a hard week for me. I am finding having my mother live with us very difficult. I guess, in my heart of hearts, I thought that over the years she might have changed. She hasn't. She is still the same, self-centred, opiniated, always thinking she is right, wanting to be the centre of attention, manipulative woman she has always been. My daughter wonders why I would think she might have changed. I have and I believe people can. I quess my mother doesn't want to. I believe she thinks that if she changes, that will invalidate her life. She will have to admit that maybe she wasn't always right or correct in what she did. I find it very sad. I believe that we are here to learn and grow. What then is a person's life worth if they have never grown at all,"I whisper.

Are you listening?

Back on Track

2008-08-17T11:55:00.003-03:00

"Autumn is just around the corner. It is my favourite time of year and when (one of 3 times) I try to get my life back on the track I want it to be on. I find summer terrible disruptive to a schedule. This summer has been really bad, and because I have lost all since of a schedule my health has suffered. I really need to get back on track and back into a routine. I have found having a little one and my mother around 24 hours a day very hard. I love both dearly but whereas before I was depressed because I was alone all the time, now I find myself craving "me" time. I never seem to have any. I have decided that Sundays will be for me. I will do what I want, when I want. The only constant will be mealtimes. I am sure this will help me feel better," I whisper.

Are you listening?

April Fool's Day

2008-04-01T21:16:00.002-03:00

Today sure doesn't look like a normal April 1st. There is still feet of snow in the yard. No sign of spring yet, and I am thirsting for some signs of green. It will be weeks before we even see a blade of grass, let alone any spring flowers. I would love to see daffodils and crocuses. I miss being able to buy them. When we lived in Victoria, I could get a dozen for about $2.00. I would buy daffodils, tulips, crocuses and freesias and make lovely bouquets for my home. I never see those flowers for sale here in New Brunswick. I guess they would just be too expensive," I whisper.

Are you listening?

2008-03-20T22:28:00.002-03:00

"My partner gave me the book "50 Things To Do When You Turn Fifty" for my birthday. I am enjoying reading it. So far I like all the articles except for one. Written by a plastic surgeon, it recommends having plastic surgery to retain your looks. Excuse me, what happened to ageing gracefully? I can't imagine deliberately going under the knive just to remain looking young. I like the wrinkles and wisdom that shows on older faces that isn't there in the young. Most young look unformed, immature and almost without personality at times, whereas those who have lived for a few more decades have real character in their faces. If you take away that character what does that say about the person?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

I am 50!

2008-03-18T14:22:00.002-03:00

"Today is my 50th birthday. To some that might seem old, yet the way I look at it, I have another lifetime to live. All my family has lived to into their 90's or 100's. I am just a young pup compared to that! My family all chipped in and gave me a new computor, which I really needed. My daughter also has sponsored a little girl in Kenya in my name through Plan Canada. I couldn't be more thrilled. Years ago I sponsored a little girl in Sri Lanka. I was sad when she reached the age that sponsorship ends. I will enjoy getting to know this new little girl. Plan Canada has wonderful opportunities for people to give who can afford to sponsor a child. You should check it out," I whisper.

Are you listening?

10 Things to Buy Organic

2008-01-07T21:40:00.000-04:00

"I visit various food sites to read what they have to say and on Horizon Organics website, I found this article. Basically it lists the top 10 foods to buy organic and why you should. Here is the list:
1)Milk
2)Potatoes
3)Peanut Butter
4)Baby Food
5)Catsup
6)Cotton
7)Apples
8)Beef
9)Soy
10)Corn

One of my resolutions for this year is to be more environmentally conscious, so for my first step towards this I am going to buy organic milk. It will not only benefit our health, it will benefit the environment," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Books I read in 2007

2008-01-05T22:19:00.000-04:00

"I read all the time. Here is what I read in 2007.

Non-Fiction:

Earth Democracy by Vandan Shiva

Tiny Dancer by Anthony Flacco

Trans Atlantic Slavery:Against Human Dignity edited by Anthony Tibbles

Extraordinary Railway Journeys by Tom Savio and Anthony Lambert

The True Power of Water by Masaru Emoto

How to Make a Garden: The 7 Essential Steps for the Canadian Gardener by Marjorie Harris

America's Women 400 years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, and Heroines by Gail Collins

The Procrastinator's Handbook by Rita Emmet

Gardens in the Spirit of the Place by Page Dickey

Outside Eden by Peter Short

The Colony - The Harrowing True Story of the Exiles of Molokai by John Tayman

The Good Women of China by Xinran

On Truth by Harry G. Frankfurt

Relaxation by Sarah Brewer

Wildflowers of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick & P.E.I. by Mary Primrose & Marion Munro

Bats by Tony Hus5ton

Palestine - Peace Not Apartheid by Jimmy Carter

No One Cares What You Had For Lunch - 100 Ideas for your Blog by Margearet Monson

Comes the Peace by Daja Wangchuck Mesto

Chinatown by Paul Yee

Spiritual:

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan

Finding Water by Julia Cameron

Celtic Goddesses by Miranda Green

Something More: Excavate your Authentic Self by Sarah Bon Breathnach

Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark

Being in Balance by Dr. Wayne W. Dryer

God's Debris by Scott Adams

Ficton:

Black Wind by Clive Cussler

Dragon's Fire by Anne McCaffre

The Goddess Abides by Pearl S. Buck

Prey by Michael Crichton

Polar Shift by Clive Cussler

Countdown by Iris Johansen

Vertical by Joseph R. Gorber

Kiss the Girls by James Patterson

The Wire in the Blood by Val McDermid

Resistance by Daniel Kalla

Killing the Shadows by Val McDermid

All that Remains by Patricia D. Cornwell

The Hundredth Man by Jack Herley

Fox Evil by Minette Walters

Malice Intended by Ron Handberg

Crossing the Line by Karen Travis

Prayers for the Dead by Faye Kellerman

Over a Thousand Hills I walk With You by Hanna Jonsen

The Book of Names by Jill Gregory & Karen Tinteri

The Faithful Spy by Alex Baldwin

Seventy Seven Clocks by Christopher Fowler

Tropic of Night by Michael Gruber

Hide and Seek by James Patterson

Violets are Blue by James Patterson

The Big Bad Wolf by James Patterson

Cat and Mouse by James Patterson

Aggressor by Andy McNab

See How They Run by James Patterson

Naked Prey by John Sandfor

Evangeline - A Tale of Acadie by Henry W. Longfellow

Mortal Prey by John Sandford

The Summer that never was by Peter Robinson

Movies I saw in 2007

2008-01-05T14:27:00.001-04:00

"In 2007 I watched some very good and some not so good movies. Here is the list for your enjoyment.

Children of Men

Catch and Release

Bridge to Terabithia

Braveheart

Man of the Year

Pan's Labyrinth

Erogon

Pursuit of Happyness

Scared Sacred

Music and Lyrics

The Painted Veil

The Holiday

Because I Said So

The Queen

Temple of the First Born

The Guardian

The Last Mimzy

Number 23

The Contract

Disturbia

Fracture

Astronaut Farmer

Perfect Stranger

Georgia Rule

Away From Her

Wild Hogs

Knocked Up

Mr.Brooks

Tears of the Sun

Stardust

The Kingdom

Eastern Promises

Hairspray

Rescue Dawn

Shattered

The Sentinel

Amazing Grace

License to Wed

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Ratatouillr

Archangle

Jindabyne

Breach

Freedom Writers

Are there any here that you enjoyed? Are there any good ones I missed?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

2008 New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-04T21:18:00.000-04:00

"I like new beginnings. They give me hope and this year there are so many new things in my life, my granddaughter, my mom living with us and my son's very serious relationship with a lovely young woman. So this year I feel very positive about my life. Here is what I hope to work on this year to make my life even better!

1) Find ways to make my life more spiritual.
2) Be even more environmentally conscience.
3) Be more health conscience.
4) Be more productive.
5) Be even more involved in my community.

I hope that everyone everywhere has a good, productive year and uses this wonderful life to grow and learn, not just about themselves but about the world we live in and the other inhabitants, both human and otherwise that inhabit it," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Review of 2007's New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-02T22:36:00.000-04:00

"Here is what I planned on working on in 2007 and how I did.

#1 Work on my spiritual life - I feel that I didn't do too badly on this, I read a number of very good books, participated in group spiritual events and intragated more of my beliefs into my daily life.

#2 Build an even stronger relationship with my daughter - Feel very good with this resolution. My daughter and my relationship has never been stronger or better.

#3 Continue to work on improving my health and therefore my weight - Didn't do to well here, in fact slipped a lot.

#4 Having built a tenous relationship with my eldest sister, I will continue to nurture it's growth and developement. - This went nowhere. I have found if someone doesn't want a relationship, you can't force one.

#5 Actively work within the Peace Building Community here in Fredericton and help to change the attitudes towards peace as a way of life. - Involved myself more and will continue to do so even though it seems it is an uphill battle to change beliefs about war and violence in a city where most peoples' livelyhood is dependent on the military.

#6 Enjoy time with my partner and actively involve myself in the building of our model train layout. - Spent much more time with my partner, doint lot's of things, but didn't get much done on the railroad!

#7 I will finish things I have started. I will again aim for one a month and see how I do. Next year I will be cheering instead of rolling on the floor laughing! - Here I am, rolling on the floor laughing!!!!

#8 I will continue to encourage the growth of my relationships with others. I will keep in touch with those whose company I enjoy. Did well with this resolution.

#9 I will work even harder at being myself in ALL situations, not just those where it is easy or convienent. Did well here too.

#10 I will actively work on my genealogy, including talking to my mother about her past and recording what she tells me. - Didn't get much done, but with my mother now living with us will hopefully get this done.

#11 I will write letters to all those in my life with whom I correspond in a prompt manner. Okay, so I have some things I need to work on more!

#12 I will find every opportunity to bring creativity into my life. - Some small success here, lots of plans for this year.
What are your goals for 2008?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T11:10:00.000-04:00

"Well, another year is here. I can't believe how quickly 2007 passed by. It has been a wonderful, momentous year. My little granddaughter Riley joined us, my mother came to live with us, my son finished his cook's apprenticeship and my daughter went back to school giving me the opportunity to take care of little Riley. I am loving it all!

Wishing our whole world a Happy New Year and hoping that 2008 is a good year for everyone. I know it will be if we all treat everyone with the love and respect they deserve, regardless of their skin, their sex, their religion or their nationality," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Catching Up

2007-11-11T11:50:00.000-04:00

"Well it has certainly been a long time since I have posted. Life has taken over my private time. My daughter has gone back to school so I am taking care of my little granddaughter all day. My mom is here for at least a 3 month stay. We are hoping she decides to stay with us. Because of all this I go to bed much earlier which means I don't get as much computer time. I am trying to get a sschedule going so that I can still do all things I enjoy. It is proving harder than I thought it would be. Oh well, practice makes perfect. It will come." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Corn Moon

2007-08-29T22:07:00.000-03:00

"Last night was the full moon. It was a beautiful, clear evening. My partner build a fire in our fire pit, we took our evening cups of green tea and I brought my drum and we went down to watch Her rise in the night sky. It was so peaceful sitting there among the trees, watching the fire, with just a gentle breeze blowing. It was a lovely warm night. The wind played in the trees, I beat my drum and watched the flames dance in the fire. As the hour past and the moon rose, I heard an owl call. It is the first time in over a year of waiting on the full moon, that I have heard an owl. Chills ran up my spine. It made the night perfect. We walked down the path to where we could see Her in all her glory. I greeted Her and thanked Her for being there. A few wisps of clouds past over Her face, we turned and went back to the house, where one light shone, leading us home. Blessed Be", I whisper.

Are you listening?

Signs of Autumn

2007-08-28T15:37:00.000-03:00

"Sarah, Riley and I have started going for a morning walk each day. We walk around the subdivision just down the road from us. Sarah doesn't like to walk in a straight line, down our road. So we wander through the various roads that make up the subdivision. Riley loves to look at things and hates when we have to cover the stroller to keep the sun out of her eyes. She cries then. But she also cries when the bright sun is in her eyes. Her mother votes in favour of tears from the shade rather than the sun. Everyday we see something new. Yesterday it was a little lizard squashed on the road. It was only about 2 inches long, a beautiful red. Today, it was the first of the ferns turning color. They are a beautiful golden yellow. Our first signs of autumn out here in the country. My favourite time of year approaches. I love the crisp mornings, the warm afternoons, the early evenings. I like the food of autumn and later winter, the stews, lasagnas, roasts and chilis. Good hardy food that makes one glad to settle down for dinner. I like the darkness of the evenings, the candles lit, the incense burning. I like curling up with a good book, looking around my beautiful home and feeling safe and secure. Autumn gives me this and I am grateful," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Saying Goodbye 2

2007-08-17T22:47:00.000-03:00

"Well I need to grovel, it appears. Marilyn's son did his best, trying to fit the funeral together the way his mother wanted it. But with all the strict Baptists in his family, it just wasn't going to work. While talking to his mom's native friends, they suggested holding a memorial for her a few days later. He was so happy. They held it last night. I really wasn't feeling well and so couldn't go, but I talked to him today and he said it was a great experience and went really well. I am learning a lot through this whole experience of loosing a friend. First, don't put off doing things for a later date. It sometimes just doesn't come. Secondly, wait; take a deep breath and wait before jumping to conclusions. Things sometimes turn out better than planned and I have the feeling this did. Marilyn's son gave me a beautiful piece of his mother's pottery to remember her by. She was a wonderful potter, I was always going to buy a piece, sometime soon. Soon never had the opportunity to come, but thanks to his generosity I know have something besides my memories to remember her by. Although I wasn't expecting her death so soon, I did know it was coming and I guess I had come to terms with it, because now, unlike 3 years ago when I lost another friend, my heart is at peace. I know Marilyn would want me to remember her with happiness not sadness." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Saying Goodbye

2007-08-13T21:49:00.000-03:00

"Yesterday was Marilyn's funeral. Last Sunday when I visited her, she talked about what she wanted for her funeral. She and her son had discussed it and she said that he had agreed to what she wanted. She didn't get it. She got what her family wanted and I think she would have been very angry and hurt by what happened. It makes me wonder about funerals. Who are they for, the dead or the living? Should they reflect the life of the deceased or the beliefs of the living? I am not christian, when I die I don't want a christian funeral service. What if my children do, whose wishes should be respected? Maybe I'll tie their inheritance to fullfilling my wishes. I get the funeral service I want, they collect; I don't they don't. Or does it even matter?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Marilyn Farrell

2007-08-10T08:07:00.002-03:00

"My friend Marilyn died on Wednesday. She was a warm, wonderful woman who wanted so much to live so that she could continue to give to those around her. I will miss her. Every time I see a crow I will think of her. They were an important part of her spiritual beliefs and will be a permanent link for me to my memories of her. I love you and will miss you my dear friend." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Green Politicians

2007-06-28T22:28:00.000-03:00

Here is the link to an interesting article on the top "Green" politicians in the world. I found it very interesting reading," I whisper.

Are you listening?

June's Quotes

2007-06-23T10:07:00.000-03:00

"Here are some quotes that appeal to me this month.

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
~Mae West

"Virtue, like a dowerless beauty, has more admirers than followers."
~Marguerite Gardiner

"If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance."
~Andrea Boydston

"Suppose you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."
~Mary Pickford

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
~Catherine Aird

"The thing we hate about ourselves aren't more real than things we like about ourselves."
~Ellen Goodman

"Good judgement comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgement."
~Rita Mae Brown

"You're never too old to grow up."
~Shirley Conran

"Why do human beings need answers? Partly I suppose because without one, almost any one, the question itself soon sounds silly."
~Jeanette winterson

"We may not all break the Ten Commandments, but we are certainly all capable of it. Within us lurks the breaker of all laws, ready to spring out at the first real opportunity."
~Isadora Duncan

"The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern and like vampires they suck our life's blood."
~Bette Davis

"If I's observed all the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere."
~Marilyn Monroe

"How can something bother you if you won't let it?"
~Terri Guillements

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others."
~Sonya Friedman

"How sick one gets of being 'good', how much I should respect myself if I could burst out and make everyone wretched for twenty-four hours; embody slfishness'"
~Alice James

"Many people think they want things, but they don't really have the strength, the discipline. They are weak. I believe that you get what you want if you want it badly enough."
~Sophia Loren

"If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with a two weeks' vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days."
~Doroty Canfield Fisher

"I don't believe that life is suppose to make you feel good, or make you feel miserable, either. Life is just suppose to make you feel."
~Gloria Naylor

"I used to believe that anything was better than nothing. Now I know that sometimes nothing is is better."
~Glenda Jackson

What do you think?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

A jigsaw puzzle for today

2007-06-21T19:52:00.000-03:00

Poppies by Stream Jigsaw Puzzle

"Have fun", I whisper.

Are you listening?

One Month Old

2007-06-04T15:00:00.000-03:00

My little granddaughter is one month old today! I can't believe how quickly time has flown or how much a part of my life she has become. I can't imagine her not being here. She is the sweetest, most contented baby I have ever seen. She smiles now and makes her grandma so happy. I love you little one," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Meatloaf Favourite

2007-06-03T22:40:00.000-03:00

"I love Meatloaf, no not the meal, but the singer. His latest album, "The Monster is Loose", has my favourite of his songs (so far!). Here it is.

Alive

I'm still alive
Must've been a miracle
It's been a hell of a ride
Destination still unknown
It's a fact of life
If you make one wrong move
With a gun to your head
You better walk the line
Or you'll be left for dead

I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that
you can't turn back
This time that's right I got away
with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as hot blood runs
through my veins

I'm still alive
Lost in the night
Feeling so invisible
A dead man walking the wire
High above the devil's net that's made of fire
And it's a long way down from the
top of the world
You better look around
Or you're gonna get burned

I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that
you can't turn back
This time,that's right I got away
with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world
come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing
on the ground
And as the dust clears look
in my eyes
I'm still alive

The darkest night ain't black enough
To keep the morning light from shining
The highest wall ain't tall enough
To keep the smallest man from climbing
The more that you resist the tide
The more it pulls you in
The more you hang on for your life

I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that
you can't turn back
This time, that's right I got away with it all and I'm still alive

I'm a run away train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that
you can't turn back
This time that's right I got away
with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come
tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing
on the ground
And if my shadow's all that survives
I'm still alive

The music is fantastic", I whisper.

Are you listening?

Ultimate Bible Quiz

2007-06-02T00:35:00.000-03:00

"Took this quiz just for the fun of it:

You know the Bible 85%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

And I'm not even Christian", I whisper.

Are you listening?

Quotes on Family

2007-05-28T14:00:00.000-03:00

"I wear a T-shirt that says 'The family tree stops here."
~Suzanne Westenhoefer

"Motherhood and homemaking are honorable choices for any woman, provided it is the woman herself who makes those decisions."
~Molly Yard

"There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
~Jill Chrurchill

'I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before."
~Ellen DeGeneres

"Families are nothing other than the idolatry of duty."
~Ann Oakley

"There's a lot to do when you have a baby. The first thing, which is taking me a really long time, I have to figure out who the father is."
~Heidi Joyce

"Providing for one's family as a good husband and father is a water-tight excuse for making money hand over fist. Greed may be a sin, exploitation of other people might, on the face of it, look rather nasty, but who can blame a man for 'doing the best' for his children?"
~Eva Figes

"Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren't through being children."
~Cindy Garner

"The reward of not having children [is] if I get blown up tomorrow, I'll have lived long enough and I won't have to worry about my children."
~Helen Gurley Brown

"I've thought about having a family. I just haven't seen any that really appeal to me."
~Laura Kightlinger

"I'm so sick of hearing about family values. Most of us are in therapy because of our families. I'm surprised you don't hear about more calls to 911: "Help me, I'm in a family. Get me out of here!"
~Judy Carter

"I think the husband should always be in the delivery room, along with the child's father."
~Maureen Murphy

"Sometimes when I'm feeling sad or lonely, I'll have a snack, like a brownie or a cupcake, and it makes me feel better. I don't think that's such a big deal, because I know a lot of women who, when they're feeling sad or lonely, will have a baby."
~Jessica Delfino

"The Vatican came down with a new ruling: no surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't make this rule before Jesus was born."
~Elayne Boosier

"I still can't believe that people I know, my peers, are making babies. I'm too lazy to make a salad."
~Hellure Lyle

None of these quotes reflect how I feel. I do, however, find them amusing," I whisper.

Are you listening?

May's Woman of the Month

2007-05-25T13:45:00.000-03:00

Malalai Joya is an Afghan woman of supreme courage and dedication to her country. As an elected representative to the Afghan Parliament she has continually spoken her mind about many of the other members of parliament who are warloards and druglords using their positions of power for their own advancement and to drive the Afghan women back into the life they had under the Taliban. The Afghan parliament on Monday voted for her removal. This attempt to stifle free speech and silence this brave woman should not be allowed. Canada, if it is really in Afghanistan to improve the life of the Afghan people should demand Malalai Joya be reinstated as a condition of support for the government." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Here are some links to information on Malalai Joya:
Defend Malalai Joya
Malalai Joya in Wikipedia
Seven Oaks

Pretty in Yellow

2007-05-20T13:23:00.000-03:00

"My little grandaughter is now 15 days old. She has certainly brought a lot of joy to our lives already. It is amazing to watch her. I have an entirely different perspective than I did as a mother to my two when they were newborns. I find it thrilling how quickly she is learning things. She makes eye contact; cries to get changed (and doesn't cry while being changed!); recognises her grandma and grandpa's voices as well as her mother's and absolutely loves to go for a car ride. The dogs are very interested in her, the cats couldn't care less that she is here. Personally, I think that she is the cutest, smartest little baby girl in the whole world. No bias on my part!" I whisper.

Are you listening?

That Dastardly Dog!

2007-05-14T11:59:00.000-03:00

"This is what we came home to yesterday after a nice afternoon of indtroducing Riley to friends and family. Sadie, Sarah's puppy had broken out of her kennel. The downstairs was relatively unscathed. The main floor, however, was a different matter. And I am not sure that all the blame can be laid on Sadie, there was one other dog, Honey, the one in the picture and 2 cats present. One can just imagine the scene. Now perhaps Honey chased Sadie through the house and thus the destruction that followed. I, however, think that maybe Honey saw an opportunity to be bad for the first time in her life and lay the blame at Sadie's door. Luckily we lost very little, the damage looked (and smelled) worse than it actually was. The main loss was our dinner, thawing on the counter and my 70% cacao fair trade chocolate bar!

I can't get mad at Sadie, she was just being the puppy she is," I whisper

Are you listening?

Mother's Day

2007-05-13T23:07:00.000-03:00

"I would like to share the proclamition written by the founder of Mother's Day, Julia Ward Howe.

Mothers' Day Proclamation - 1870

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant
agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with
carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity,
mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes
up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and
commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to
the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress,
not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I
earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of
nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed
most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

We, the mothers of today need to answer this call. We need to say, in a united voice, no more war. Will you join me?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

A New Baby

2007-05-12T14:32:00.000-03:00

"Life moves so quickly. It has been over a week since my daughter had her little girl and I can't believe time has gone by so fast. The two weeks prior to her birth seemed to take forever. Now she is here and has taken over our lives completely. Riley Savannah came into this world two weeks overdue on May 4, 8 lbs 15 ozs and is the sweetest little girl in the world. No bias on my part! I am loving her being here. My daughter is doing a wonderful job being a new mom and they both are settling in and getting to know each other. Little Riley's daddy is here on leave and is, I think, captivated by his little girl. Sarah's dad is now "Grandpa" and loving every minute of it. You have brightened up all of our lives little one. Welcome to the world!" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Still Waiting

2007-04-25T13:35:00.000-03:00

"Sarah was given two different due dates by two different doctors, the 23th and the 24th. Well both have past and baby still isn't here. I think I am more frustrated by this than she is. I want to hold my grandbaby. She is just really tired and wants to be able to sleep on her stomach! Hopefully baby will come tonight," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy Birthday Phillip

2007-04-17T22:02:00.000-03:00

"Twenty four years ago today at 6:37 in the morning I gave birth to my son Phillip. As he was my first child, I was not totally aware of how strong a bond I would form with him or how much I would love him. When I brought him home, I remember sitting in my rocking chair holding this tiny little boy and crying. My husband ask me why I was crying. I replied that one day he would grow up and leave home, that is why I was crying. Well, that day has come and gone and I have survived. Phillip has grown into a wonderful young man who I think any parent would be proud of. He has found what he loves to do in life and that is, I believe, a rare thing. He makes me very proud to be his mother and on this, his 24th birthday I send him my love and best wishes for a wonderful birthday and a great year. I love you Phillip more than you can imagine. You are my dear heart." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Non-violence in 10 lessons

2007-04-13T13:00:00.000-03:00

"Taken from Ode Magazine April 2007.

Violence dominates the history books; here’s what can be learned from the history of warfare:

• Nations that build military forces as deterrents will eventually use them.
• The state imagines it is impotent without a military because it cannot conceive of power without force.
• Once a state takes over a religion, the religion loses its non-violent teachings.
• Practitioners of non-violence are seen as enemies of the state.
• A conflict between a violent and a non-violent force is a moral argument. If the violent side can provoke the non-violent side into violence, the violent side has won.
• Violence does not resolve. It always leads to more violence.
• Despite society’s promotion of warfare, most soldiers find war to be a wrenching departure from their own moral values.
• War produces peace activists.
• The best organized and most articulate group often prevails over the largest one.
• The hard work of beginning a movement to end war has already been done.

Check out the article at Ode Magazine. I hope you find it interesting," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Death in Afghanistan

2007-04-09T14:30:00.000-03:00

"Tonight the flags of Fredericton and the surrounding area are flying at half mast. Not the flags on federal buildings, only those that fly at city halls, rec centers and private businesses. I guess the government that sends men and women off to die, doesn't feel the necessity of mourning their passing in a timely manner.

Again, my daughter knows one of the dead. She also has a friend who knows all six, who's task today was packing up the rooms of two of his comrades who won't be coming back, who don't need the rooms anymore, whose belongings will most likely be sent home to grieving parents to deal with.

This most recent wave of death has shocked the Fredericton area. The commander of the base has said, "the base had been pactising a number of "what if" scenarios, but never expected anything close to what happened."

Excuse me, what fantasy world do these people live in? They are fighting a war and they don't expect more than a couple of dead at a time? It's WAR, what part of that don't these people get? Soldiers die in war, that along with killing others, is as far as I'm concerned, their job. That's what any rational person expects to happen. You can't fight a war without casualties. Oops, I forgot, in this day and time it is civilian casualties one expects, not military. And it doesn't seem to matter how many civilians die as long as our soldiers don't." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Waiting

2007-04-02T11:26:00.000-03:00

It's April and Sarah's baby is due on the 24th. Today though, she is having pain, thinks it's contractions, so maybe this little one will be early. So we wait. It's a nice thing to be waiting for. My first grandbaby. Wow, I can hardly believe it. I'll keep everyone posted", I whisper.

Are you listening?

The First Casualty

2007-03-21T20:08:00.000-03:00

"Well it's happened, the first of my daughter's friends who are currently serving in Afghanistan was wounded. He was in an explosion and got shrapnel in his eye. They don't know if he will regain his sight or not. This current deployment is only a month old and already there have been, including Sarah's friend, about 6 men injured in that period of time. They are there for 6-9 months. At this rate there could be 36 to 54 wounded in that period of time. And then there will be the dead. Why can't men find another way to solve their differences, rather than by killing and destroying?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Quote from the Dalai Lama

2007-03-19T16:25:00.000-03:00

"May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A quide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need.

Think what the world would be like if we would all be like this," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Memories of War

2007-03-17T16:33:00.000-03:00

"Today the Fredericton Peace Coalition held a "Bring Our Troops Home" rally in conjunction with those being held all across Canada and the United States on the fourth anniversary of the Invasion of Iraq. Here is the speech I gave.

I was born 49 years ago tomorrow in a little fishing village on the
west coast of British Columbia, the first member of my mother’s
family in over 300 years to be born outside of the United States.
Growing up I remember my mother talking about her mother
who was born just 22 years after the American Civil War, an
event she always referred to as “the late, great unpleasantness”. My mother, in talking about her own life,would tell us about the day Pearl Harbor was bombed. She came out of a movie theatre to hear that her country was at war. She spend her early adult years building bombers and fighter planes that would be used to bomb Europe and the Japanese into submission. My father, when he would talk about the war, would tell us of his time on navy ships, about watching kamikaze pilots crash into the ship next to his. Both my parents would talk about the holocaust and the destruction of Europe. As a child I couldn’t understand why they seemed so focused on war. It wasn’t until years later, I realized that I was born only 11 years after the end of WWII and that to my parents, it wasn’t a distant event but one that was an integral part of their lives.

My parents and grandparents had their lives impacted by wars
that happened either before their time or during their adult lives. My memories are different. A great number of my childhood memories are of war. One of my earliest memories is of sitting on the grass in the front yard of our home surrounded by four leaf clovers. My father told us, that rather than being a sign of good luck, they were the result of above ground testing of nuclear bombs, that was causing mutations to occur in all forms of live, all around the world.

My next strong memories are of new families moving into our
little valley, families of American draft dodgers, escaping a war in a far distant land, made welcome by Canada. Newsreels, this was before everyone had tv and one saw the news played out days or weeks after the fact, in shorts before movies,started to show this war. One became used to the throb of helicopters, the sight of wounded soldiers and dead bodies before you watched the movie you had come to see. A staple of my childhood, Life magazine, made memories of pictures of horror, villages bombed, bodies lying in heaps, soldiers weeping over the dead and children, forever immortalised as naked bodies, running down the road covered in Napalm.

And then we moved across that ocean that seperated us from this war, to New Zealand, a green and quiet land. And new memories were added, physical fights with other children who did not understand that we were Canadians, not Americans. That our country was not involved in this war (or so we thought at the time). That we were the good guys, we welcomed those who opposed the war and gave them a home.

As years past more memories accumulated, names from another
world became part of my vocabulary: Viet Nam, The Tet
offensive, the Ho Chi Minh trail, gooks, tunnel rats, Viet Cong,
the My Lai (mee lye)massacre, Lt.William Calley, Saigon, Kent
State, POW’s, MIA’s, napalm and Agent Orange.

We returned to North America, settling in Salt Lake City where
my friends had brothers and cousins wounded and killed in that
far off land. They wore bracelets with the names of those soldiers missing in action. They told stories of brothers maimed by little children who blew themselves up with hand granades so that American GI’s would die.

Then on April 30, 1975, as I watched tv, I saw a picture that has
stayed with me my whole life, the evacuation of the American
Embassy as Saigon fell to the Vietcong. Rather than the
humilation felt by many Americans, I felt only an ovearwhelming
sense of relief. My young cousin, living in California, would not
have to be drafted, would not go to war, would not die in some
far off land. He would live, unlike the thousands of others, in
both the United States and Vietnam, who died for nothing.

My life went on, I grew up, went to university, married and had
children, a son and a daughter. On January 16, 1991 I was
working in Eaton’s Department store. The day was quiet, on the
entire bottom level of the store there was not a single customer.
It was as if the world was holding it’s breath. As a deadline crept
nearer clerks from all over the store congregated in the
electronics department and waited for another war to begin. At
about 5pm, we began to see the first pictures of Operation Desert Storm, the Gulf war had begun. My son was 8, my daughter 6 years old. For the next 4 months their memories were made of war, of destruction, of the dead. Then the world began to breath again and life went on. Of course there were other wars and other atrocities including Rawanda and it’s horrors, Croatia and Canada’s involvement. But nothing that really touched us, safe here in North America, in Canada.

Then one morning I woke to my son’s urgent voice, “Mommy,
you have to wake up, something horrible has happened.” My
daughter, in the fog of early morning sleepiness had thought that
the same movie was playing on every channel. My son, a little
more awake, realised that the world had changed. September 11,
2001. Planes flying into towers and buildings, bravery beyond
believe, sadness and tears, fear and anger. My children’s world
became a different place, their memories of war and destruction
added to and reinforced. Their world become a place of fear, an
armed camp, a world divided into “them” and “us”. For the past
6 years the news has only been of more war, of more terrorism,
of more death. The invasion of Afghanistan, of Iraq. The
bombings in Bali and London.

Canada, leaving it’s peace keeping missions behind and
becoming an active participant in this war. Canadian snipers in
Afghanistan, earning the “honor” in 2001, of breaking the sniper
long distance kill record, set by an American Marine, in that long
ago war of my childhood. Memories accumulating, my
daughter’s friend Woody, coming home from Afghanistan, not
with honor, but only dead. Now, we wait, wondering, who else
among her friends and aquaintances will come home in a coffin,
how many more friends’ funerals will she attend? 1 out of 10
dead, 1 out of 6 wounded. This is what we, as Canadians, are
told we can expect from this war. This war that is marketed as a
way for us to help the Afghan people even though, upon the
invasion, Canada’s reasons for participating were to defend
Canada's national interests; ensure Canadian leadership in world
affairs; and lastly to help Afghanistan rebuild.

My memories, my children’s memories of war, of death, of fear,
of “them”and of “us”. When will it end? 5 weeks from now I
will become a grandmother. This new life will enter a world
where once again memories will be made that involve war. How
many will have died in this other far off land by the time this
child is aware? How many bombs will fall, how many land mines
laid and exploded, how many “suicide bombers” will take
another soldier’s life, leave others wounded , how many children
will bury brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers or friends. How long
will the people of Afghanistan have their land ripped apart, their
lives destroyed, their memories corrupted by war? I look at my
daughter, ready to give birth, I think of my grandbaby coming
into this world, I look at the children here today and I am
reminded of a song from my childhood, not great music, not
even great words, but true. “I didn’t raise my boy to be a soldier, I brought him up to be my pride and joy”. As Canadian mothers this needs to be our anthem, this needs to be our ralling cry. Our sons and daughters are not fodder for war, we don’t want their memories to be those of death and pain and fear. We want our children here, at home, not dying in some foreign land or killing someone else’s sons and daughters. It is time that we as mothers, say “no more”. It is time we demand as our right, no more war, no more loss of our children, no more children whose memories are forever impacted by war. It is time to demand of our government that this stops here and now, that our children come home. That Canada brings it’s troops home. Brings them home now.

Too many deaths", I whisper.

Are you listening?

Comments

2007-03-16T22:37:00.000-03:00

"Wow, I have had more hits in the past two days over my posting on Teddy Bears than I sometimes get in a couple of months! I have a couple of comments though for those who have posted comments. I hope that they will answer them.

First Comment: This is to Jennifer. My husband works for the military. He has talked to men who have served in Afghanistan, he has friends who are there now. They all say that things are not changing there, but only getting worse. I never said anything about the individuals in the military NOT helping the Afghan people. I know they do. That is not what my blog was about. Also, yes, I am fortunate that I can speak my mind, even if it does get edited. The Irving connection was edited out of the Daily Gleaner, our local paper, because ALL of the papers in New Brunswick are owned by Irving. They have tight control over what gets printed. Very rarely do anti war articles or letters make it into the paper. There is definitely censorship here in New Brunswick. As to your comment about women in Afghanistan, if you had read a previous posting I wrote on the war, it specifically mentioned the women of Afghanistan. Since the invasion, life has gotten tremendously worse for the women there. The current government, under the auspice of NATO (of which we are a part) and the United States is working on bringing back into effect the laws that govern women that were in force under the Taliban. "As Muslims, we have a strong book, the Holy Koran, and we believe in the Koran, we don't believe in the Constitution," says Haji Ahmed Fareid, a religious scholar and parliamentarian when commenting on bring back into law Sharia, the extreme laws that govern Muslims behaviour, especially that of women. All one has to do is read articles and papers written by the women of Afghanistan, such as Malalai Joya, to understand that things are not better but in fact, in some cases are worse.

On another note, why would you assume that I am Christian?

Second Comment: This is to Frank Gordon. Yes, I am ex military and have never had a problem getting help, in fact I am on a disability pension. And while my letter was about the need for help for the real victims of this war, the Afghan people, my main concern was the use of a childs toy, decorated as a killer, which is what soldiers in wartime are, being used to raise funds for families that have access to all different kinds of help, while the people of Afghanistan suffer from hunger, lack of water, lack of medical aid, in fact, the very basic neccesities for life. My question is, why should the public donate money to men and their families who have VOLUNTARILY chosen this career. They are not doing this for their country, or in most cases (I speak from the position of one who hears what the men going to Afghanistan say)to better the life of the Afghan people, but for the extra money, tax free, that they will receive; and as some so elequently state (sarcasm intended) "to kill ragheads". The people of Afghanistan did NOT ask for this war, we invaded THEIR country, The soldiers DID ask for this job, after all they voluntarily enlisted. Forgive me if I don't weep for them, the only "victims" in this country will be their children, not even their spouses, who knowingly married men and women in the military and therefore must accept the consequences of their actions.

Third Comment: This is for Honeypot. I suggest you read something other than just your local newspapers. I do. I read the local paper as well as other Canadian papers. I read papers from around the world. I read things written by the Afghan people themselves. Do you? As to your refering to me as "dumber than dogshit", I find it interesting that people who are disagree with a peace based approach to solving problems seem unable to express their opinion without becoming personal in their attacks. And as for your comment that I am a "misguided unappreciative nimrod" well, I must admit, I do NOT appreciate my country invading other countries, killing innocent civilians, bombing people's homes into oblivion, all in my name. If that makes me a "misguided unappreciative nimrod" then YES I am!!!

Fourth Comment: This is to rottenmonkey. Because I do not believe that we should have troops in Afghanistan does NOT mean that I agree with the Taliban. However, they haven't come here and killed my family, bombed my house, destroyed my livelihood. Perhaps if you read my posting "Opinion Piece", you can find the link on the right hand side of my blog, you would see that I think that dialogue, conversation, an active effort to get the people of Afghanistan to solve their own problems would be more effective than using guns, tanks and bombs to change peoples minds. I don't know about you, but when someone tries to force me to do something, I resist much harder, than when they convince me by logic and thoughtful example.

Have a great day everyone. I will." I whisper.

Are you listening>

Teddy Bears, War and Personal Opinion

2007-03-14T19:51:00.000-03:00

"Here's a letter I wrote to our local newspaper.

Last week I walked into the Irving on the New Maryland Highway and was horrified to see that they were selling teddy bears dressed in combat gear as a fundraiser for the Halifax Family Resource Centre, the support group for military families. Teddy Bears, asymbol of childhood and comfort, are given to children traumitised by acts of violence and here they are portrayed as those doing the violence. This seems so morally wrong to me.

Military families in Canada have a huge support system within the military, plus they have all the benefits that a society like ours gives, pensions, death benefits, disability benefits, rehabilitation, life insurance, you name it, these military families will not be left without if and when their family members are injured or killed in this war, which we are supposedly fighting to "help" the people of Afghanistan.

I would suggest that this fund raiser, instead of supporting these families, be used toraise funds for the families of those Afghans killed and wounded who do not have theluxury of life insurance, disability insurance etc. I challenge the governments of themaritimes, both provincial and local, who are in support of this war; the corporations of the maritimes, like Irving, that are supporting it and the people of the maritimes, both military and non military who give their support , to put their money where their mouth is and raise money for the real victims of this war, the people of Afghanistan. Donate to groups that are directly invoved with the people of Afghanistan, donate to Afghan groups that are helping their own people. In fact, start with the fundraiser for RAWA that is being held Thursday evening from 8 until 10pm at the Tilley Hall Auditorium - UNB Fredericton. Lets see how much the people of the Maritimes really want to “support” the people of Afghanistan.

Have had some really negative responses like on this blog : Dust my Broom.

What do you think about this issue?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

How Rare Is Your Personality?

2007-03-13T23:22:00.000-03:00

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)

Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense.

Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men

You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

An Inconvenient Truth

2007-02-24T23:05:00.000-04:00

"An Inconvenient Truth - watch it," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Life Update

2007-02-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

"Life has been a little hectic these past couple of days. Today we took Phillip to Moncton for his last 6 week course of his apprenticeship. we went maternity clothes shopping with Sarah and found some sweet things. Fredericton has nothing in the way of maternity clothes so was glad to finally find some.

Last night just after midnight my mom called from Victoria. My sister who has breast cancer had just had to go to the hospital. She has been fighting an infection for the past 4 days and her doctor called and told her it was staph infection in her blood and if she didn't get antibiotics immediately she would be dead within 12 hours. She spent 4 hours on intravenous and then was sent home. There were 70 people in emergency that needed to be admitted and only 25 beds. She got home just after 1:30 in the morning and had to be back at the hospital for 7:30am to do it all over again. I just talked to my mom and found out she has to go back to the hospital at 8pm for another 4 hours of intervenous antibiotic therapy. This will continue until the infection is gone. Her next chemo treatment is in 1 1/2 weeks. If the infection isn't gone, that will have to be postponed.

I am finding all the stress of Sarah's pregnacy, my sister's illness and my mother's advancing age and subsequent problems to be very stressfull and it is causing me to have problems with my fibromyalgia. And that doesn't include all the stuff in my own life!! Well, I can never complain that I lead a dull life, that's for sure." I whisper.

Are you listening?

The Invitation

2007-02-16T14:34:00.000-04:00

"Just finished reading a wonderful book called The Invitation that goes deeper into examining the poem written below. At the end of each chapter are some wonderful mediations. I love this poem.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I wish I knew people to discuss these kinds of things with. Are you a person I could?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Blah

2007-02-14T14:59:00.000-04:00

"My cold is better. I just have that annoying nasel drip down the back of my throat. It has been a cold, snowy day. Now it is raining. Suits my mood. I am having a very down day. Feel all alone and don't know why. Well, that isn't exactly true. My partner and I are going through a rough patch again. Today is Valentine's Day. I didn't do anything for my partner because it is always up to me and I am tired of it. He forgot it was Valentine's day until he was on his way home, so he stopped at the dollar store and got me a card. Brought pizza home for dinner, but they made a mistake and instead of "the works", I got an all meat pizza which was cold and tasted bad. A perfect ending to my down day! There are times I just wish I could sleep forever." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Sick

2007-02-07T17:07:00.000-04:00

"I'm sick. Somewhere, I caught a cold. My nose is stopped, my lungs congested and my throat hurts. I feel miserable, so I am going to bed." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Opinion Piece

2007-02-06T23:15:00.000-04:00

"Here is a letter I had published as an opinion piece in today's "Daily Gleaner" Fredericton's local newspaper.

'Every other Friday I stand with Women in Black and various members of
the Fredericton Peace Coalition,in front of Fredericton City Hall.
We stand in vigil for the victims of war and all forms of violence
that are so prevelant in our world.

Lately we have been asked why we do not support our troops in
Afghanistan. We are opposed to this war and our involvement in
it,this does not mean, however, we do not support the men and women
who find themselves having to fight. We are very supportive of them,
we want them home, with their families alive and well, not coming
home wounded or in body bags. We want them to be able to contribute
to a world where violence is a thing of the past, something we
remember with shame.

Our government has involved us in this war, making it appear that by
being there we are improving life for the people of Afghanistan and
defending our way of life. However if one reads information from
groups within Afghanistan such as RAWA ( www.rawa.org), international
groups such as Amnesty International (www.amnesty.ca), the United
Nations and Human Rights Watch (www.hrw.org) you quickly realise that
we have not made life in Afghanistan substantially better for the
people there, especially the women. Over 60% of the widows in Kabul
believe that suicide is their only option. Last year there were over
50 reported deaths of women who set fire to themselves rather than
continue to live under the conditions that exist in Afghanistan. The
news that we receive paints a completely different picture than the
reality of life in Afghanistan.

As to the arguement that by fighting in Afghanistan we are defending
our rights here at home, I cannot see the logic in this arguement.
How come there are only two options, fight or lose our rights?
Surely there are other options than those? And who decided that if
we refrained from going to war that we would lose our rights? If this
war is to stop terrorism and therefore protect our country and its
people then it is failing miserably. The incidents of terrorism
around the world have escalated since the invasion of Afghanistan and
Irag. We are now more in danger than we ever were
from "terrorists". It has been said that for every "terrorist"
or "insurgent" killed, another 15 takes his place. At this rate
Afghanistan is a war that we will never win and that will
increasingly put our soldiers and ourselves in jeopardy.

I believe that a clear policy of non violence on our part is
essential for solving the problems of Afghanistan. That what is
needed is not more soldiers, bullets and tanks but help for the
people of Afghanistan to establish dialogue between the various
interest groups within their own country. I believe that the women of
Afghanistan need to be given the opportunity to play a much more
important role in the rebuilding of their country. Peace will not
happen as long as there is a war mentality directing the action or as
long as the warlords are seen as allies in the fight against the
Taliban. According to the Senlis Council there has been a 600%
increase in violent attacks in the last six months in southern
Afghanistan. This is where our men and women are going.

I would like to see the women of Fredericton who believe that
violence is not an answer to the worlds problems, and involving our
country in this war is an act of violence, stand up and have their
voices heard. Speak out; write to our politicians and the newspapers;
involve yourselves in the various groups working for peace that exist
in this community. And if you are able to, come and join us standing
in vigil for the victims of this violence, those innocents who have
no voice, who have no say in what happens in their lives. Do not let
those in power or those whose business is war ignore your voice.

Our next vigil is February 9th noon to 1pm in front of City Hall.'

What do you think?", I whisper.

Are you listening?

David Susuki

2007-02-04T22:40:00.000-04:00

"David Susuki is on a cross country 50 city tour to talk to ordinary Canadians and hear what they would do to help the environment if they could. He is asking everyone to "Vote for the Environment" and is taking all the ballots to Ottawa at the end of his tour. He believes that Canadians want the environment at the top of the political agenda and is going to fight to put and keep it there. Well worth going to see if he comes to a city near you. One of the things Dr. Susuki said is that by the year 2048 all the major fish species that we consume will be extinct. Think of a future with no salmon, no tuna, no haddock, no cod, no . . . . . . Scary isn't it?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Celestial Seasonings Tea

2007-02-03T12:14:00.000-04:00

"You know the good feeling you have when you do something "good" for the planet and yourself? You buy something organic and you can feel good because it is better for you and isn't harming our mother earth. That is how I have felt for years drinking Celestial Seasonings Tea. This company is owned by Hain, which according to it's website "is a leading natural and organic food and personal care products company in North America and Europe." I bet all you folks out there feel really good whenever you pour yourself a cup of Celestial Seasonings Tea, don't you? Think Twice! According to Vandana Shiva Hain is owned in part by . . . . . are you ready? Philip Morris,Exxon-Mobil and . . . . . . . Monsanto!!!!! Now do you still feel so good about drinking Celestial Seasonings Tea? I know I don't and I won't be purchasing anymore. How can a company like Monsanto pretend to be interested in "organic" when all over the world it is destroying peoples' livelihoods and possibly health with genetically modified crops.

For a point of view other than that of the coporations listed above, here are a couple of articles to check out. Greenpeace - WANTED: Monsanto for crimes against the planet, Alive - Changes at Monsanto, Mother Jones - Does ExxonMobil Pay the New York Times a Premium to Run Ads Next to Global Warming Stories?, Guardian - The denial industry.

P.S. Hain also makes "Rice Dream"!" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Friday Musings

2007-02-02T20:57:00.000-04:00

"Have had a lot to write about lately and haven't written a thing. Funny how that happens. So here goes.

Finished a fascinating book Trans Atlantic Slavery: Against Human Dignity edited by Anthony Tibbles. This is a book published in Britain so it has a completely different slant than anything I have ever read before. It helps you to understand, that contrary to what most North Americans think, slavery was not solely an American issue. It had a definite British beginning, which we here, have a tendancy to forget. Well worth reading.

As more and more Canadian soldiers are shipped overseas to Afghanistan, more and more pressure is being put on the ordinary civilians of this area to "support the troops". Unfortunately, the general public does not seem to understand that supporting the troops and supporting the war are two different things. If you protest, as I do, the involvement of Canada in this war in Afghanistan, you are seen as somehow disloyal, as not appreciating the fact that these "brave men and women" are defending our way of life and our rights. As I don't buy this arguement you can expect to see me standing in vigil with Women in Black for a long time to come.

I am enjoying these days with my daughter Sarah very much. She has not been feeling at all well lately, baby is moving all the time, disrupting her sleep and she is suffering from low blood pressure which makes her feel sick and dizzy alot. This means she spends lots of time curled up on the sofa, which means we get lots of togehter time. I am so proud of her, she is handling the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, school and work very well and I know she will handle motherhood equally as well.

And last but not least, Phillip is preparing to go to Moncton for 6 weeks for his last apprenticeship course. As of the last chat I had with him, he still does not have a place to stay, but he is a big boy and I am sure he will find something before we take him down on the 18th.

On a side note, have 3 different calendars telling me two different things - is tonight the full moon or not? Anyone know?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

January's Quotes

2007-01-28T16:15:00.001-04:00

"This month has been a very political month for me. Our government is sending more troops to Afghanistan, a move I really disagree with. Women in Black has stood in vigil against this movement of troops. We believe that rather than sending more men and women to Afganistan we should be bringing our troops home. Not supporting the war, does not mean that we don't support our men and women who are sent to fight a war they have no business being involved in. CBC Radio interviewed me and 2 other members of the Fredericton Peace Coalition. At the end of the interview, the reporter asked me if I had anything more to say. The only thing I had to add was that I wished that the people of Fredericton who do not support the war would be willing to stand up and be counted. Here are some quotes that address the issue of being afraid to speak your mind, of being afraid of what others might think of your activism.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, it's the control of fear."
~Dickey Chapelle

"The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference."
~Bess Myerson

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow'"
~Mary Anne Radmacher

"Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile . . initially scared me to death."
~Betty Bender

"I'm tired of being labeled anti-American because I ask questions."
~Susan Sarandon

"The most effective way to do it, is to do it."
~Toni Cade Bambara

Will you speak out?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Tiny Dancer

2007-01-20T12:09:00.000-04:00

"I just finished reading an inspiring book entitled "Tiny Dancer" by Anthony Flacco. This is the true story of a little girl from Afghanistan who was horribly burned in a household accident. It is the story of a father's love for his child, a love in stark contrast to the world in which he lives. It is the story of a child's unconquerable will. It is the story of how she came to America for surgery and the people who made a future for her possible. It renews your faith in the human spirit and the potential for good our species has. I am sure it will inspire you as well," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Invocation to Lakshmi

2007-01-18T22:24:00.000-04:00

"A beatiful prayer to the Indian goddess Lakshmi.

'I am whatever is. Whatever is, I am.
I am whatever is visible. Whatever is visible, I am.
I am whatever is invisible. Whatever is invisible, I am.
I am whatever is alive. Whatever is alive, I am.
I am whatever moves and breathes. Whatever moves and breathes, I am.

I am the very spirit of life. The very spirit of life, I am.

Everything that exists in time is part of me. I am everything that exists.
When time ends, I will end. I will vanish, disappear, dissolve.
And with me, everything else will vanish, disappear, dissolve.
I alone can create, and I alone destroy, this universe.

Everything that exists is mine. Everything that exists is me.'

Blessed Be." I whisper.

Are you listening?

American Idol

2007-01-17T23:41:00.000-04:00

"Okay, so once again I've watched an episode of American Idol. I only watch one or two a season. I find it painful, humilating and extremely sad to watch people do this to themselves. My daughter loves to watch, so I watch with her. But I certainly can't watch an entire season. What would make 99% of the people that try out believe that they look and sound good? What fantasy world do they inhabit that they cannot see themselves clearly? How can their family and friends let them humilate themselves like they do? Why do people feel the need to be the focus of such a spotlight? Do they have no depth to their lives, nothing that enriches them beyond superficial things? I ache for them," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Rally for the Troops

2007-01-16T16:56:00.000-04:00

"On January 26 the Canadian military will start the deployment of 1000 men and women to Afghanistan. Most of these troops will come from the Maritimes, a great number of them from CFB Gagetown, our local military base. On Friday a huge rally is planned to show "our support" for the troops. My partner works at the base. He received an email today "requiring" him to attend the rally and events planned around it. I know that the turnout that results from this order being sent to personnel, both military and civilian, will be seen as "supporting" our troops and their mission. When in reality it only shows the control that the military and government have over the people who work for them. This is freedom? This is a democracy?

I show my support for the men and women in our armed forces by standing in vigil with Women in Black twice a month against violence of all kinds. I show my support by signing the NDP's Bring 'em Home petition. Our young men and women should not have to die needlessly in a war that they are only fighting because they will bring home 30 to 40 thousand extra dollars for 6 months work. They should not have to die or be wounded in a war over which they have no say. They should not have to die at all." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Winter

2007-01-15T19:05:00.000-04:00

"It's snowing. It is finally starting to feel like winter, cold, dark and snowy. I love this time of year. I just wish it had come earlier. I hate leaving here in 2 weeks for my holiday in B.C. and leaving Sarah alone to cope with 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, getting to and from school and all the other things she has to deal with if we are going to have bad weather. I know a friend will come and plow the driveway if it snows alot; another friend will check on her to make sure she is surviving; her brother will come out once a week to empty the 2 kitty litter boxes (pregnant women do NOT handle used kitty litter!); and I can keep in touch via text messaging and phone calls. It's not the same thing though, as being here to give her a hug when she is down, making a cup of tea for her when she is too tired to climb the stairs or watching Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights curled up on the couch together. Now, instead of wishing for snow and cold, I am hoping we have only good weather. Weird isn't it, we are just never satisfied with what we have. We always want something different." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Guantanamo

2007-01-12T21:53:00.000-04:00

"Yesterday was a world action day calling for the closure of Guantanamo Prison, so today when we held our bi-weekly Women in Black vigil we handed out flyers detailing information of Guantanamo and on the three detainees being held in immigration detention in Kingston (Canada) under security certificates who have been hunger-striking for over a month to demand urgently needed medical care and other basic needs. They have all been detained for more than five years now, without charge or trial, and their cases drag on endlessly. January 11 to 15 have been declared Days of Action to Close "Guantanamo North" - the Kingston Immigration Holding Centre.

Here are three things you can do to help:

1. Write and Call Stockwell Day, Minister responsible for the Canadian
Border Services Agency (which runs the KIHC). Demand that he meet
immediately or appoint a neutral party to immediately resolve the crisis at
KIHC.

Stockwell Day, MP,
House of Commons, Ottawa, ON K1A 0A6
Phone: (613) 995-1702
Fax: (613) 995.1154
day.s@parl.gc.ca or
communications@psepc.gc.ca

2. Contact the new immigration minister, Diane Finley, at (866) 496-3400.
This is her Simcoe constituency office. Ask that she meet with the families
of the detainees (who have requested a meeting) and that she also take
action to meet the reasonable demands of the detainees.

3. Write a card of support to the detainees (let the folks know at tasc@web.ca if you
have, so we can monitor if mail is getting through): Mohammad Mahjoub,
Mahmoud Jaballah, and Hassan Almrei can be reached at:

Kingston Immigration Holding Centre
c/o CSC RHQ Ontario Region
440 King Street West
PO Box 1174
Kingston, Ontario K7L 4Y8

We can't live in a country where people are imprisioned without being tried, let alone charged with a crime. What kind of people are we turning into?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

A Puzzle to Play With

2007-01-11T22:30:00.000-04:00

"I love doing jigsaw puzzles and wanted to share one with you,I should be able to embed this puzzle, but it won't work, so go to the
site and have fun,"I whisper.

Are you listening?

Children of Men

2007-01-06T23:16:00.000-04:00

"Saw this movie last night and I have to agree with the critics this is a wonderful movie. I always enjoy a good "end of the world" type movie and because this is set in the immediate future, it is not only recognizable but terrifingly possible. It tells of a time when women become infertile. Now along with all of the stories we hear about the need for invitro fertilization, surrogate mothers etc. I am also reading stories about men's infertility, caused by chemicals and, believe it or not, cell phone use. With all of this, it is not hard to invision a time when no children are conceived. I sat beside my daughter, 6 months pregnant with her first child, knowing that birth really is a miracle and wondered what would a world without the possiblity of such event really be like. I don't want to ever find out." I whisper.

Are you listening?

How to be a Hero

2007-01-06T00:32:00.000-04:00

"My Inner Hero - Wizard!

There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.

You're intelligent, educated, and just a bit superior to everyone you know. If you're still in school, you probably make A's, if you're not too bored to waste the effort. If you work, your annoying boss relies on you to solve the problems no one else can figure out. You've never met a puzzle you can't solve. When it comes to leisure, you'd rather read, play a strategy game, or surf the 'Net than run around getting sweaty. You're a brainiac, and you're not ashamed to admit it.

Above all, you're a mastermind and a great thinker. You see the unknown as territory to be conquered, and the mysterious as something to be systematically unraveled. You don't have time for fools; you only spend your time with people who can comprehend your obfuscatory convolutions. You enjoy amassing knowledge, both useful and trivial.

What kind of hero are you?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

New Year Resolutions for 2007

2007-01-03T16:07:00.000-04:00

"This year I feel far more positive about success with my resolutions than I ever have. Maybe because I feel good about last year and what a good year it was for personal growth. That after all, is what I believe that most resolutions should attend to. So here are mine for 2007 in no particular order.

#1 Work on my spiritual life - I will find time each day for some contemplative act, reading of a spiritual book, or spending time with others in a spiritual manner.

#2 Build an even stronger relationship with my daughter - As we have very different personalities, I will put aside what I like for some time with Sarah doing what she likes. I will really listen when she talks to me, involve my whole self in the conversation, not just my ears, but my heart and mind as well.

#3 Continue to work on improving my health and therefore my weight - I will follow my eating plan from Eat Right For Your Type and drink water on a much more regular basis.

#4 Having built a tenous relationship with my eldest sister, I will continue to nurture it's growth and developement.

#5 Actively work within the Peace Building Community here in Fredericton and help to change the attitudes towards peace as a way of life.

#6 Enjoy time with my partner and actively involve myself in the building of our model train layout.

#7 I will finish things I have started. I will again aim for one a month and see how I do. Next year I will be cheering instead of rolling on the floor laughing!

#8 I will continue to encourage the growth of my relationships with others. I will keep in touch with those whose company I enjoy.

#9 I will work even harder at being myself in ALL situations, not just those where it is easy or convienent.

#10 I will actively work on my genealogy, including talking to my mother about her past and recording what she tells me.

#11 I will write letters to all those in my life with whom I correspond in a prompt manner.

#12 I will find every opportunity to bring creativity into my life. I will let go of the past that says nothing but negative things about my abilities and I will try new things and not be a afraid of failure. What are your goals for 2007?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Review of 2006's New Year Resolutions

2007-01-02T23:28:00.000-04:00

"This is the time of year I always set my goals for the rest of the year. Last year I posted 10 goals for 2006. In review I didn't do too bad, but wasn't perfect either. I guess that means there is still room for improvement.

Here is a look at how I did.

#1 Lose 20lbs - Well I must admit this one was a total flop didn't lose an ounce. But I also didn't gain anything either, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

#2 Spend more time with my daughter - This one was a partial success. While she wasn't at home, I did have some "dates" with her and loved them. Now that she is back home, we have been spending more time together, but it is still something that I need to pay attention to.

#3 Write my mother weekly - Well some months I have managed fine and others I haven't. Over all though, I did much better in 2006 than the previous year. Still there is room for improvement.

#4 Maintain Friendships - Now this one I have done really well on. In fact I have expanded my list of friends and have deepened the relationship I have with friends I already had. I count this a success and will continue on this path.

#5 Finish things I have started - Does everyone know what ROFL means. Cause that's me right now. Don't think I finished one thing. Ah well, there's always this year.

#6 Read more books - The number stayed the same 50 books in 2006. The vast majority were non fiction and much longer books. Does that count? I have read some great books this past year. Boy there are such interesting ones out there. If only there were more hours in the day.

#7 Enjoy Nature more - Well, this year I did get out more than the previous year, but not as much as I would have liked. One thing I have done though, is enjoy every full moon sitting at our fire pit with my partner. That has been very centering for me and it is a definite part of our life now.

#8 Be more environmentally friendly - This was a great success. I have gone to ebills, paperless bank statements, increased what I recycle and have donated lots through freecycle. My house is much emptier and my spirit much lighter without the clutter. I have found new places to recycle things like egg cartons and plastic containers. Our local food bank takes them. Altogether a success.

#9 Spend more time developing a spiritual life - This has proven difficult. Something I really need to work on.

#10 Be me - I think this has also been a tremendous success. I am happier and more content when I am authentic. It might have caused problems in at least one relationship but over all it has only benefited me. A resolution I would highly recommend and one that I shall continue to make part of my life.

What should I aim for this year?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T21:15:00.000-04:00

"Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”
~William Arthur Ward (American dedicated scholar, author, editor, pastor and teacher)
This poem and other quotes on New Years can be found at Thinkexist.com

I know, it's a bit corny and it rhymes, but it does express how most people feel about the new year. At least, I think they do. It's how I feel about it anyway. I always feel like I get a fresh start and it's a good feeling. I hope you feel good about this new year as well." I whisper.

Are you listening?

2006 in Review

2006-12-31T12:00:00.000-04:00

"This has been an eventful year. The main theme of it seems to have been pushing bounderies, overcoming fears. I have learned that the expression "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself" to be oh so true.

I travelled by myself for the first time in my life. I have always been afraid to, yet I learned I had nothing to fear. I managed fine.

I have always been afraid of bringing attention to myself but this past year I started Women in Black in Fredericton and put myself right up front for the whole world to see. I spoke on CBC Radio, I "stand on the street corner" protesting violence in a city where the main employer is the military base.

I have pushed myself to make connections in the community, forming friendships and risking rejection and while there have been some hurts, I have also made some very good friends.

I began volunteering teaching English to immigrant women and have found it a wonderful addition to my life. These women have taught me as much as I have taught them.

My daughter Sarah became pregnant and rather than the chaos and fear I always believed I would feel if this were to happen, instead it has brought us closer together, given us an opportunity for a second chance at our relationship.

My eldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. We have not had a relationship in years and now, because I ignored the boundaries imposed on our relationship, by time, distance and a dysfunctional past, we are building a new relationship that I hope will last.

My partner and I have worked through some very difficult problems and our relationship is better than ever. Again this is because I pushed boundaries, got out of my comfort zone and overcame my fears.

I survived my son moving out which I felt would be very traumatic. Instead it has been an education in learning to let go, not worry, and realizing that he is a capable young man, who will not only survive, but thrive without me mothering him.

Although 2006 was at times extremely traumatic, it has proved to be a very good year for personal growth and relationship building. I believe that 2007 will be even better. I hope that your 2006 was a year of growth and learning too.

I want to end this review with a quote I find very inspiring:

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential."
~Ellen Goodman

May we all find things to be proud of, things to be thankful for, things to continue with, in the past year. Happy New Year!!" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Christmas Treasure

2006-12-27T16:29:00.000-04:00

"Years ago while I was a student putting myself through university, I worked at the public library. Here I got exposed to books of all kinds including those of poets that most people have never heard of. One of these poets was a litle 8 year old french girl, Minou Drouet. I was so impressed by her writing, that I kept a note of the name of her book for almost 30 years! Browsing abebooks.com one day I searched for her book and was surprised to find a copy. My partner bought it for me for christmas and I have been enjoying the incredible ability of this little girl ever since. I would like to share one of her poems with you.

Garden

Give me your hand at once
for I know a little corner
where we can rest apart
and nibble the shiny morning
like a strawberry tart.

Come to my dear otherwhere
where no one has ever been,
and I will gather
to fill your lap
the sad flowers of my dream.

The sea is my big garden,
and when I return my arms are full
of the flowers which border its dress
and their crystal
petals
all smooth with cloud
fall down in A minor
round my heart.

The wind ploughs my garden
and under its big hands
I feel the green furrows deepen
on the round horizon.

Come quickly there
and surprise the voice
of the world's most lovely garden.
It dwells in a sail
the color of autumn and fire
which plays
on the sky's blue body
a chord
straining to the farthest distance
the highest
and higher still
straining to the same otherwhere
as my heart's inner despair.

Lovely isn't it?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy Holidays

2006-12-24T22:36:00.000-04:00

"I would like to wish all my friends, family and readers a very happy holiday season. I am not christian, but I do celebrate christmas. I love the season, the tree, the food and the gifts. I celebrate because it is my family tradition and I can, with a clear conscience, make it fit in with my own spiritual beliefs. I leave the "christ" out of christmas and see it as a winter celebration, the hope for the returning of the sun and for spring. My tree is decorated in seasonal and pagan symbols, not a christian one in sight! The irony of the christian "christmas" is that it is actually a retelling of a multitude of earlier legends of a sun god born of a virgin and then sacrificed. Regardless of what you believe, I hope that you have a wonderful holiday with lots of good food, great company and are surrounded with love.

Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah!

Quotes 4

2006-12-19T23:30:00.000-04:00

"Here are a few quotes on romance to brighten your day. At least they did mine.

"The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and impossibility may become the rule."
~ Anita Brookner

"Love lasts about seven years. That's how long it takes for the cells of the body to totally replace themselves."
~ Francoise Sagan

It's afterwards you realize that the feeling of happiness you had with a man didn't necessarily prove that you loved him."
~Marguerite Duras

"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office."
~Shirley MacLaine

"Great passions, my dear, don't exist: They're liars' fantasies. What do exist are little loves that may last for a short or a longer while."
~Anna Magnani

"If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humor was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!"
~Kate Beckinsale

"There are men I could spend eternity with, but not this life."
~Kathleen Norris

How do you feel about romance?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Blood Diamonds

2006-12-12T23:14:00.000-04:00

"Tonight my daughter Sarah, my partner and I saw the movie "Blood Diamond". I already knew some of the tragedy behind the diamond trade. Seeing it portrayed in a movie though, makes it far more real and horrifying. I am not a jewellery type woman and have never wanted diamonds. After seeing the movie and reading some of the information online that I have found, at sources such as Amnesty International, CSR Wire, The Centre for Public Integrity and the United Nations, I have even less desire for one that is soaked in blood. I hope that everyone who sees this movie is inspired to find out more about this tragic trade and insists that any diamonds they purchase or that are purchased for them are conflict free diamonds. Peoples lives are worth far more than a fancy rock," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Christmas Cookies

2006-12-10T21:47:00.000-04:00

"I love the smells of this time of year. The spicy scent of the christmas tree, the warm smoky smell of the fire in the stove, the crisp clean scent of cold air and the smell of frankincense bringing back memories of midnight mass. My favourite smells though have to be those of the special cookies baked at this time of year. And the one that will always be the smell of christmas to me is the German cookie Pfeffernuesse. So for everyone who finds this page, here is the recipe for my favourite christmas cookie, that is guaranteed to make your home smell like christmas.

Pfeffernuesse

4 cups of sifted flour
1teaspoon cloves
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon aniseed
1 tablespoon cardamon seed

2 tablespoons butter
2 1/2 cups icing sugar

Grated rind of 1 lemon
1/4 lb. (100gms) candied orange peel
1/2 bl (200gms) candied citron

5 eggs, seperated

Mix the flour and spices together. Add the seeds. In a large bowl cream the butter, gradually adding the sugar. Beat till light (no lumps of butter). Add the egg yolks. Blend well. Add the dry ingredients, lemon rind and fruit. It will be all dry when mixed together, nothing will be sticking together. Beat the egg whites. Gradually fold into the flour mixture. Blend really well, will still look quite dry. Chill for at least an hour. Shape into small balls and place on a teatowel, letting stand uncovered over night. Bake on an ungreased baking sheet at 350 degreees for 15-20 minutes. Makes about 9 dozen cookies.

Have these with a good cup of coffee, while listening to christmas music, watching the snow fall or admiring your tree. I hope you enjoy," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Long Night Moon

2006-12-04T23:22:00.000-04:00

"Tonight is the night of the December full moon. Every full moon my partner builds a fire in the fire pit and we sit and watch the moon. The fire pit is in a clearing, a path leads from it deeper into the woods. On the nights of the full moon, she sends her rays down the path lighting it with magic. Tonight the woods were still, muffled in our first real snowfall of the winter. The trees, dark against the sky, had their branches dusted heavily with snow. The fire sent sparks flying out into the night. They would land on the snow and glitter until they were extinguished in a quick burst of light. As I sat there, looking deep into the fire, sipping my tea, I listened to the wind in the trees, felt the odd dusting of snow on my face and felt completely at peace. The moon, beautiful in her fullness shone through the bare trees, sending her light down on such a wonderful world. I am so lucky to live where I live," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy Birthday Sarah

2006-11-30T15:53:00.000-04:00

"Today is my daughter Sarah's birthday. She is 21 years old. She was a week late and arrived when Victoria was covered with snow. It's funny, 21 years later and once again it is. We aren't there to enjoy it, but some is expected here in New Brunswick tonight. That will be nice.

Sarah was 8 lbs 6oz when she was born. My son had been 6lbs 8ozs, so when I saw Sarah for the first time, I couldn't believe she was a new born. You think funny things when you have just given birth! Sarah was wide eyed and in love with the world from the first moment she arrived. She has always been enthusiastic, kind, compassioniate and loving. That's not to say perfect, because she has her moments, like we all do.

Sarah has taught me more than anyone else has. Knowing her has forced me to push my boundaries; understand that everyone is NOT like me and then accept them for who they are; and she has taught me how to be more spontaneous.

So on her 21st birthday I would like to thank my daughter Sarah for the gift she has been to me. I love her dearly and am so proud of the beautiful young woman she has become. Happy Birthday, baby girl," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Intercourse

2006-11-28T23:33:00.000-04:00

"Have you ever read a book that has completely changed the way you view something, or that has reinforced or giving voice to what you believe? As a teenager, I read Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. This had a tremendous impact on my way of thinking and now I am reading another book that has given voice to what I have thought for years. This is Andrea Dworkin's Intercourse. It appalls me that I have never heard of this woman before. Where have I been? How could I have not have heard of her?

For all of you that are interested in the female/male relationship, which I believe we all should be because it pervades all of our lives, you should read this book. It will change forever, the way you see our society, our world, our lives. That is, if you are able to acknowledge the truth of what Andrea Dworkin says. If not you will write her off as another manhating, feminist bitch who just doesn't get it. And from what I have read so far, she would say that attitude just proves her point. Has anyone read this book? If so, what do you think of what she says? Tell me." I whisper.

Are you listening?

The Seige of Gaza

2006-11-27T23:37:00.000-04:00

"Women in Black, the group I stand in vigil with, against violence and war, is having a world wide action day on December 2nd against the seige of Gaza by the Israeli Government. As our normal vigil day is the 1st, we will hold our action then. I hope to get more than a mere two people out! Here is a link to an online petition to Stop the Seige! Stop the War! Please read it and sign if you agree with it. Wherever you are, look for a peace rally this weekend and attend. Innocent people are being killed and injured and while they are alive, their lives are filled with terror, poverty and oppression, while men in power remain safe and secure. Is this the kind of world we want to live in? I don't." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Wedge16b

2006-11-26T22:08:00.000-04:00

"This blog gets picked up by Wedge16b's kinja site. I would love to know who Wedge 16b is. Please post a comment so I can find out. The suspense is killing me. " I whisper.

Are you listening?

Love

2006-11-25T23:36:00.000-04:00

"My daughter, in her criminolgy course, is now studing Psychology. I picked up her book and was flipping through it when I came on a chapter on emotions, in particular, love. I found it fascinating. A Robert Steinberg, proposes a three component theory of love.

Intimacy is "those feelings in a relationship that promote closeness, bondedness, and connedtedness."

Passion refers to those drives in a loving relationship "that lead to romance, physuical attraction, and sexual consummation."

Commitment consists of 2 aspects, a short term one "the decision that one person loves another and a long term one " the commitment the person makes to maintaining that love over time."

He then goes on to suggest that these 3 components can be combined in various ways to form different kinds of love. These are:

Liking - has only one component, intimacy.

Empty love - you feel commitment to the relationship but intimacy and passion are no longer present.

Infatuated love - strong passion with little intimacy and weak commitment.

Romantic love - strong passion and great intimacy with weak commitment.

Fatuous love - has passion and commitment but lacks intimacy.

Companionate love - high intimacy and commitment with little passion.

Consumate love - the only type with all three components in great intensity.

This helps explain my relationship, but makes me sad. Where does yours fit in?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

What If We Don't ?

2006-11-23T22:44:00.000-04:00

"I had never stopped to really think about it beyond the obvious, but war has a huge environmental impact that lasts for generations. How much of an impact I learned tonight at a talk put on by the Fredericton Peace Coalition. Gloria Paul of Project Ploughshares gave a fascinating talk on the environmental impact of war. What I found even more frightening than the information she shared, was that fact that there were only 7 people there to hear her speak. How in a city of 50,000 with additional thousands within half an hours drive, could no one else be interested? Is it due to the fact that CFB Gagetown, our local military base is probably the biggest employer in the province? Or that the Irvings, who control the media in New Brunswick, make a huge profit off of the base? Or is it that people really just don't care? That frightens me more than any other possiblity, the thought that we, as a species, the only species that can control it's own destiny, really don't care about our own survival," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Addendum: The speech is now online at www.frederictonpeace.org

Here There be Dragons

2006-11-21T15:21:00.000-04:00

My partner and I finished this 1000 piece puzzle last week. It was a lot of fun to do, but very difficult. I think shaped puzzles are the most challenging, getting all those edge pieces and figuring out which way the go, especially on the turns was really hard. My partner has mounted the puzzle on a board and it will hang in my son's apartment. It was HIS puzzle, he gave up because it was too hard! Makes these "old folks" feel pretty good that they accomplished something younger ones were not able to do. YES!!!

I always have loved the title to this blog, whenever I have seen it on old maps. It makes one feel that magic is not gone from the earth, that there are still places undiscovered and things unknown. At the same time it warns of danger and bids one beware. This is how I feel about my life right now, so many things happening, all with the potential to be either bad or good, depending upon what I "discover" in the process of dealing with them. Life is like the uncharted and unexplored, we never know what is coming, we can only hope that the "dragons" are friendly." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Immigrant Women

2006-11-15T23:19:00.000-04:00

"This evening I volunteered with the Immigrant Women's English class. I love going, these women are so interested in learning, they are intelligent and eager. It breaks my heart that so many of them sit at home alone day after day because they have no one to talk to, no one who is willing just to have a conversation with them. I hear time and again how unfriendly and unwilling to talk the people of Fredericton are. I don't understand this. How can people not be willing to show a little friendship to these women who have come from all over the world to our city and just want to be able to call it home? It never will be home for them if they are unwelcomed and ignored. I gave my phone number to one lovely woman and told her to call me, that I would help her with her English. She said, "You will help me?" When I said yes, she burst into tears. This woman has sat at home for a year because no-one has shown her friendship. It takes so little to make someone happy, a couple of hours, once a week, just talking and listening. Who of us, doesn't have a couple of hours to give? It can change someone's life," I whisper.

Are you listening?"

Link to Fredericton Immigrant Women's English Class if you are interested in volunteering or need help with your English.

Good Books

2006-11-13T20:07:00.000-04:00

"I have been doing some very interesting reading lately and thought I would pass on a few titles. A History of the World in 6 Glasses, by Tom Standage is a fascinating account of the history of beer, wine, hard liquor, tea, coffee and coca cola. It is incredible how these drinks have influenced the very course of history. An easy read and well worth it.

Next up, If this is your land, Where are your stories? by J. Edward Chamberlin makes me envious. If only I could write so well! A must read for anyone interested in the stories we tell and how they connect and seperate various cultures.

And last but by no means least Looking in the Distance by Richard Holloway is a book discussing the search for meaning in a world where there seems to be no straight path but only doubts and fears.

All of these books are well worth reading," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Glaucoma

2006-11-08T15:38:00.000-04:00

"I have been trying to blog for days. Got fixated on one idea, wanted to upload a picture and it wouldn't work so rather than write on the 101 other things I've been meaning too, I just kept on that one. Well today is different. Everyday for about 2 weeks now, something bad has happened, either with Sarah (in and out of the hospital); my sister and her breast cancer (her whole breast is infected, antibiotics, cutting away the infected flesh etc. isn't working and she can't start her chemo as long as there is infection);my mother (her eyes are infected) and now today, my partner was diagnosed with glaucoma, the leading cause of blindness in the world. There is no cure and any damage already done is irreversible. All that can be done is to try and prevent any more damage. What else can go wrong?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Women in Black

2006-11-02T23:12:00.000-04:00

"Tomorrow is our vigil day. I love to go but I am always worried whether anyone else will show. I can't stand alone, but hate to always call and ask if people are going to be there. I have to take a taxi into town and hate to do it, have no one else there and then what do I do? I have the signs, can't really carry them around the mall with me. Oh well, just got to have faith I guess. I really wish that the people of Fredericton were more activist minded, then perhaps I wouldn't have to worry, more could be counted on. I really believe that once local boys start dying, that people will wake up and realise that this is not the way to resolve conflicts. Then perhaps we will grow. I would love to see dozens of women standing on all four corners of the intersection where we stand. Maybe some day." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy Samhain

2006-10-31T22:26:00.000-04:00

"Life has been busy. Seems like that's all I say lately. Sarah has been in and out of the hospital, the news from my sister isn't good, another friend had a cancerous growth removed from her ear. I have had company, great conversations, good meals and a real feeling of friendship with those in my life lately. I have a lot to be thankful for and I have lost no one this year. For all those who have gone before, I say thank you for what you have left us with. Please continue to guide and inspire us in our lives.

On this, the day "in between" the here and the there, may we all feel touched by life and gain the strength we need to fight any battles in our lives or just to live day by day." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Update

2006-10-20T22:33:00.000-03:00

"Life has been stressful and tiring so I haven't posted for a while. Here is a quick update on what has been going on. My eldest sister had her breast cancer surgery. It went well and the tests showed the cancer hasn't spread. She was told she would have to have radiation treatment and possibly chemo. A couple of days ago she and my mom took a trip up to Port Alberni to check on mom's place, pick up her mail etc. The next morning my sister had a serious infection at the surgery site and had to return to Victoria. She was immediately put on antibiotics. The weird thing is the locum for her specialist told her she would definatly have to have chemo, then he got her in to two cancer specialists today and her surgeon tomorrow. She wasn't suppose to see the specialists for another 3 weeks. Makes you think something isn't right.

My daughter Sarah is doing much better now, isn't having morning sickness like she was, is starting to put back on the weight she had lost. She is getting a lot of headaches though. Not good. The father of the baby has left for his posting in Ontario. It will be interesting to see how that goes. Sarah is working and doing well in school. She and I are having a good time getting reaquainted. I am glad she is at home and not on her own for this.

The Women in Black vigils are doing well. We have at least two people at each one which means that they can at least take place. I am being interviewed on CBC Radio on Monday morning. Hopefully that will bring us some good attention and maybe get more people out.

Sarah's puppy Sadie is growing like the perverbial weed. I can't believe how big she has gotten and how much more she weighs!! She is so cute and a very smart little puppy, but such exuberance.

I am really enjoying the volunteering I am doing with the Immigrant Women's English class. The women are so interesting and so willing to learn. I think we volunteers learn as much from them as they learn from us. On Wednesday we had women from Korea, Chile, Cuba and Columbia. Our students from Libya are not attending now as they are celebrating Ramedan. I will be glad to have them back as they are lovely women.

That is my life up to now. It seems like it is always one stressful thing after another. I can't believe how well I am handling it all." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Drumming

2006-10-05T22:54:00.000-03:00

"I had my son buy me a drum for Christmas. He gave it to me early so I could learn to play it. Tonight I learned a rhythm 1 22 1 22 3 2, 1 22 1 22 3 2 . . . . I can actually play!!! As I have never felt myself to be at all musical or artistic, this is a great accomplishment for me. I know there are others who would think that I am nuts to be so thrilled by something so simple, but it takes me out of my comfort zone to do things like this, and I believe that is a good thing. It is how we grow. So thank you Debi for teaching me this simple tune and not laughing when I screwed up or lost the beat!

Fact versus Fiction

2006-10-03T15:42:00.000-03:00

"I love to read, especially mysteries and non fiction. One of my favourite fiction authors is Kathy Reichs. Her character Temperance Brennan, a forensic anthropologist, solves crimes, gleaming the truth from the bones of the victims. In real life there is a wonderful young woman, Clea Koff, who at the young age of 23, used her knowledge to help identify the victims of the genocide in Rwanda. She has since worked in Bosnia, Croatia and Kosovo identifying the victims of mass murder there as well.

We all react with sympathy to the victims and the survivors of atrocities such as these, carried out around the world. We also need to feel sympathy and thanks to the wonderful women and men who go to these places to uncover and find answers to these horrors. They become, in a way, victims to the crimes as well, as their lives are forever changed and haunted by the people they have given identities back to. The disappeared of the world, along with their families and society can be grateful that there are such wonderful people willing to do this horrifying work.

Read the book The Bone Woman to learn more. I have learned that no matter how entertaining it might be in fiction, in real life it is a job for those of incredible strength and courage," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Opinions

2006-09-28T22:55:00.000-03:00

"My mom called today. I told her that Sarah was having bad stomach pains and was going to the hospital to get it checked out. While we were talking Sarah left a message saying that they had taken her right into emergency and would we please come. I called mom back to let her know and my eldest sister, the one with breast cancer answered. I was almost in tears and I asked her to please relay the information to mom. There was a long pause and then she said,"No-one asked me my opinion." I asked her about what. She said "I think Sarah should have had an abortion." I said that Sarah had worked all through that and had made her decision. My sister repeated "She should have had an abortion." I told her that I didn't need this right now and would she please let mom know. I then hung up. Mom called later and I asked her if she had heard the conversation, she said no, but that my sister had told her. I said that she had had no right to say what she did and my mom said that it was my sister's opinion and she did have a right to say it to me. So my question is 'does a person have the right to always state their opinion, no matter what the situation or how hurtful it might be?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Cats

2006-09-23T22:39:00.000-03:00

"I am a cat lover, I admit it unabashedly. For those of you who also love cats, I stumbled across two sites today that are filled with pictures of cats. The first, Cats in Sinks is exactly what it says, pictures of all kinds of cats in all kinds of sinks. The other site, Kitten War, has you choosing which cat out of a pair is cutest. Both are great time wasters, but heh, they are cats!

These are my babies. Sam is very laid back but Molly is a bit of a monkey. She gets into a lot of mischief. Sometimes though Sam can act up too, but I always think that Molly is the ringleader! Sam is on the left and Molly is on the right. They bring a lot of joy to our house. I can't imagine a home without a cat." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Women in Black Peace Vigil

2006-09-22T20:35:00.000-03:00

"Today we held our second successful peace vigil. By successful, I mean more then me turned up!!!!The previous two only I was there, and as I have been told not to stand alone, I didn't. But today 2 other women joined me, Debi and Claudette. I had notified the local paper about our event and they sent a photographer. I will be interested in seeing if we actually make it into the paper. We had a number of cars honk and wave, well the driver's of the cars did. In one car a young man stuck his head out of the window and barked at us the entire time they were stopped at the red light. That was the only negative incident. The best part of the hour though, was when two men from Iraq stopped and said thank you to us for protesting the war, then a local Quaker stopped to tell us how happy he was to see us out protesting. It made me feel like we are doing something right. Maybe more people will be inspired to stand with us." I whisper.

Are you listening?

More Quotes

2006-09-20T23:52:00.000-03:00

"Here are some more quotes I have found on my way from one place to another.

"Weapons, however highly decorated, are instruments of destruction. The wise man will have nothing to do with them."
~Mencius

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~Helen Keller

"The people of the world having once been deceived, suspect deceit in truth itself."
~Hitoadesa

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
~George Bernard Shaw

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
~ Anais Nin ~

"Grace is that invisible numinous assistance that takes us a step beyond the limits of our intellect and will. It is in us but has a life of its own, ruled by forces that we cannot comprehend and that we are not in charge of. Something, we know not what, is always at work doing, we know not how, just what it takes to follow the trajectory of our destiny of wholeness."
~David Richo

"The Utility of Non-Existence
Though thirty spokes may form the wheel,
it is the hole within the hub
which gives the wheel utility.
It is not the clay the potter throws,
which gives the pot its usefulness,
but the space within the shape,
from which the pot is made.
Without a door,
the room cannot be entered,
and without windows it is dark.
Such is the utility of non-existence."
~Lao Tzu

"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall."
~Eleanor Roosevelt

"We shape clay into a pot.
But it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want."
~Tao Te Ching

"Fate shuffles the cards and we play."
~Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860); German Philosopher

"People should not fear there Governments, Governments should fear their people-Every government degenerates when trusted to the rulers of the people alone. The people themselves, therefore, are its only safe depositories."
~Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Virginia

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails."
Explore. Dream. Discover."
~Mark Twain

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
~Albert Einstein

"Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force."
~Dorothy Sayers

And my very favourite quote is:

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing. "
~Arundhati Roy, Porto Alegre, Brazil, January 27, 2003

Hope you enjoy these" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Sisters

2006-09-18T16:25:00.000-03:00

"I am the middle of 3 girls. My mom had the three of us before my eldest sister turned 3. My eldest sister was the "good" girl;, my youngest sister was the typical baby and I was the "bad" child of the family. None of us have ever really gotten along. We were never what you could call friends. We fought throughout our teenage years and as we moved into adulthood the seperation between us just grew greater.

I married and had two children. Neither of my sister married or had children until 3 years ago when my eldest sister married the man who had been in and out of her life for 15 years. I was not invited to the wedding. Due to a rather extreme disagreement we had had years before on how I was raising my children ( I wasn't doing it right!) we broke off ties and although I have tried to reconcile with her, she has wanted no part of me. When I visited Victoria this past summer, she refused to see me, saying if I wasn't willing to rehash the past (which I see no point in doing, it can't be changed) she didn't want anything to do with me.

On Thursday my mom, who is visiting my sister in Victoria, called twice during the evening. I wasn't home. She called back Friday morning. I had thought that something was wrong as my mom never calls, well hardly ever, especially when she is staying at my sister's. I call her, though not there, because of how rudely I am treated every time I do call my sister's house. Anyway, my mom was calling me to tell me my eldest sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to call, send a card, write a letter or pretend that nothing has happened. Every time I have made ovatures of friendship, they have been rebuffed. Would this time be any different? Will facing her own immortality make my sister realize that one can't live in the past, that right now is all we have?" I whisper.

Are you listening?