Why

"It seems that I have spent my life screaming and no-one has heard me, so I thought I would whisper. Whisper into this abyss and maybe just maybe, someone would hear me. And if they don't, well, I can always blame myself. I can say, "I didn't speak loudly enough, no one heard me", not "No-one cares or understands my pain".

Wherever You go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
A person I enjoy talking to suggested this book to me. They thought it might "help". But the title itself is a source of pain, because I don't know how to be where I am. I feel like I am teetering on the edge of a cliff. There is no way back. The only way off is to jump, but there is no one to catch me and I don't know how to fly. So I spend my life teetering. I have to learn somehow to live here, in this spot . To live with the loneliness, the fear, the pain of not being heard, of not being seen. Yet there is that brief spark of hope that periodically flutters through my being. Maybe someone will hear me, maybe someone will see me, maybe just maybe, someone will be there to catch me if I jump," I whisper.


Are you listening?