When I'm down 2

"As I mentioned yesterday there are a few songs that really resonate for me when I am feeling down. One is by a Canadian Artist I first heard a couple of years ago, Susan Aglukark. I love her music, the rhythem and the words stir my blood. Her songs are full of sadness and pathos.

Breakin'Down is a place I am sure most of us have spent some time. As a teenager I can remember thinking that either my whole family was crazy or I was. (I have since decided it is they who were extremely disfunctional!) I would lie in bed afraid that I was so lost that I couldn't possibly live anymore. The only solution I could think of was to go mad and then I wouldn't have to cope with anything. I thought that if I was just strong enough I could wall my mind off from the world and stay hidden inside of myself forever. I would imagine building a wall of bricks to surround myself and seal me inside. However I could never quite build it high enough to block things out. My natural tendancy to optimism would prevail and I would find myself back in the real world.

Anyway, Susan Aglukark's Breakin'Down reminds me of that time of my life and is a surefire way of getting me back into a good mood.

'I hide for days so comfortable
Within my lonely self
The world outside's too hard to take and here there's no one else
I'm fighting hard to keep these walls from tumbling down
Rock bottom's where I wanna be it's closer to the ground

(chorus)
And I'm breakin' down
Let me cross that line
Let me lose control
Go out of my mind
I've finally admitted that I just can't take it
I've reached my limit and I'm breakin' down

It's mind over matter
Which way do I go?
And do I trust myself enough to journey alone
And do I know which way to turn
if I'll turn at all
I've travelled down this road before this time it's my call

I don't know if others use forced sadness to regain hope but it works for me . . . Leonard Cohen, Susan Aglukark and The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan all serve me well. What helps you to go on when your life has no incentive?" I whisper.

Are you listening?