Quotes on Family

"I wear a T-shirt that says 'The family tree stops here."
~Suzanne Westenhoefer

"Motherhood and homemaking are honorable choices for any woman, provided it is the woman herself who makes those decisions."
~Molly Yard

"There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
~Jill Chrurchill

'I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before."
~Ellen DeGeneres

"Families are nothing other than the idolatry of duty."
~Ann Oakley

"There's a lot to do when you have a baby. The first thing, which is taking me a really long time, I have to figure out who the father is."
~Heidi Joyce

"Providing for one's family as a good husband and father is a water-tight excuse for making money hand over fist. Greed may be a sin, exploitation of other people might, on the face of it, look rather nasty, but who can blame a man for 'doing the best' for his children?"
~Eva Figes

"Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren't through being children."
~Cindy Garner

"The reward of not having children [is] if I get blown up tomorrow, I'll have lived long enough and I won't have to worry about my children."
~Helen Gurley Brown

"I've thought about having a family. I just haven't seen any that really appeal to me."
~Laura Kightlinger

"I'm so sick of hearing about family values. Most of us are in therapy because of our families. I'm surprised you don't hear about more calls to 911: "Help me, I'm in a family. Get me out of here!"
~Judy Carter

"I think the husband should always be in the delivery room, along with the child's father."
~Maureen Murphy

"Sometimes when I'm feeling sad or lonely, I'll have a snack, like a brownie or a cupcake, and it makes me feel better. I don't think that's such a big deal, because I know a lot of women who, when they're feeling sad or lonely, will have a baby."
~Jessica Delfino

"The Vatican came down with a new ruling: no surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't make this rule before Jesus was born."
~Elayne Boosier

"I still can't believe that people I know, my peers, are making babies. I'm too lazy to make a salad."
~Hellure Lyle

None of these quotes reflect how I feel. I do, however, find them amusing," I whisper.

Are you listening?