Coma

" Sadness has once again touched us through Sarah. As you who read this blog know, Sarah lost a friend of hers a couple of weeks ago, a young man serving in Afghanistan with the Canadian military. Last week, another friend of hers was in a car accident and is lying in a coma in the hospital in St. John. Sarah has spent this week with his family, travelling to St. John to sit with him and them. She is experiencing things in her young life that I have yet to. I was in my 40's before I lost a friend. She has had two die this year.

This young man has nothing broken, only brain injuries. The outcome is not yet known. He lies in bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines. He is dimly aware, at times, of his surroundings but can have no affect on them. There have been many tears shed by Sarah this week as she learns how a second can change a person's life. From her comments, I understand that Johnny did not usually wear his seatbelt. He had it on last Tuesday when his car crossed the centre line and he was hit by a taxi. Otherwise Sarah would be mourning the loss of a third friend this year.

With all these things touching my life recently, I have been doing a lot of introspective thinking. Nothing really new for me I know. I seem to spend the vast majority of my time in my head, not actively doing, just being. I am trying to resolve various issues inside me and not having much luck. I feel, more than ever, like I am poised on the edge. Now though, rather than wanting to find a way to remain here, I think I want to leap. Into where or what, I don't know, but I do know that I want a change, something big, something that alters forever my perceptions and my expectations. Like Johnny, I need to wake up. I don't want to forever exist in this twilight state, neither awake nor asleep. If I wake,will you be there for me?" I whisper.

Are you listening?