Death

"I had lunch today with a friend. The last time I saw her was back in November. At that time her cancer was in remission and she was in good spirits. Now her cancer is back after only 8 months and she is waiting. Waiting for tests, waiting for treatment, waiting for the doctors to decide on treatment, waiting, waiting. I can't imagine living in the limbo she is in, with death being the possible end result.

I know we are all dying from the moment of conception. As my mother would say, there is no other way out of here. But to contemplate your end with the knowledge that it may very well be soon, well I am not sure how I would handle that. I am not afraid of death itself. It is the dying that bothers me. That slow, or quick step that we all must take. I am not afraid of the after, just the getting there.

And what I fear is not the pain for me, but the pain for those who are dear to me. The pain that my going would cause, the pain they would feel knowing I was in pain. The unfinished things between us, the hurts we have caused or shared, the unfullfilled hopes, the memories, the unlived parts of our lives. These things are what I fear, not being gone or what comes next.

I have complete confidence in that part of this journey we are all on. I know with absolute certainty that what awaits us is neither a heaven nor a hell, but a rebirth back into this life so that we may continue our journey. That we are here to learn and when we all have learned what we need to learn, that the greater life that we are all part of, will become conscious and all knowing. Of this I have no doubt." I whisper.

Are you listening?