Dorothy

"The phone rang just after noon today. It was my partner's niece. His sister Dorothy, was in emergency. She has suffered from mini strokes for quite a while and is on blood thinners. They aren't working. She had a very serious mini stroke and her daughter had taken her to the hospital. In the next 5 hours she had 10 more.

Tonight she has no memory of today or yesterday. She can't remember what you told her 5 minutes before. She is frightened and doesn't want to stay in the hospital. She will be there at least until Monday when she will have more tests done and see the specialist. She does remember him and likes him, so that is at least a comfort.

As parents get older, it is as if roles are reversed and the child becomes the parent. It is difficult to see once vibrant people reduced to the position of needing care, rather than being the care givers. I think the worst is when the mind is affected and the body is still strong. To know that something is the matter and not to understand, must be very frightening.

It is also difficult for the children who find themselves in the position of taking care of their parents. And for siblings who realise that when their older brothers and sisters go, they become the eldest. To lose everyone older than you makes you confront your immortality, perhaps a lot sooner than you wish or are ready for.

I hope that Dorothy is stabilized and if she cannot regain yesterday and today at least remembers tomorrow and a great many more tomorrows yet to come. We are not yet ready to say goodbye. We love you Dorothy," I whisper.

Are you listening?