Partners and Pairs

"It's spring and it seems like the whole world is pairing up. I watched the birds all winter, they came to my feeders singly or in groups. Now they come in pairs. The ducks are back on the pond down the road from us, male and female mallards, the males feathers shimmering in the sun. Yesterday I watched 2 huge rabbits chase each through the woods behind my house. The squirrels are courting too, chasing each other up and down and through the trees. They look like they were having so much fun.

On the streets of Fredericton, you see couples walking with their arms around each other, enjoying the warm spring weather. My daughter has a new boyfriend, my son wishes he had a girlfriend. It seems that in everyone and everything "the force that through the green fuse drives the flower" is rising and cannot be denied.

Watching and reading and talking to people makes me question the human approach to pairing up. Recent studies reveal that 50-60% of married men and 45-55% of married women engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Shwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy). And yet we marry "until death do us part". According to DivorceMagazine.com Canada's divorce rate is 45% of married couples. This is up there with the United Kingdom's at 53% and the United States' at 49%.

Perhaps, just perhaps, we are not meant to be involved in lifelong, monogamous, one sexual partner relationships. Perhaps, as the sexual beings that both men and women are, our relationships would work best if they were either shorter term or not limited to one sexual partner. Maybe we need to re-evalute the whole "marriage" game. The divorce rate would probably go down and maybe so many people wouldn't end up hurt and angry," I whisper.

Are you listening?