Lonely versus being alone

"I am lonely. So much at times I feel I can not breathe. I am paralyzed and can't find my way out. I don't know how to even begin to move forward. I have been in this relationship 19 years on April 1st. I should have known, eh. April Fool's on me. I have been miserable for 13 years. For the past 6 years I have been really trying to change things. Over 8 months ago I told him if things didn't change, I would leave him. I gave him a year. Nothing has changed, in fact it has gotten worse. He is completely disconnected. We have nothing. There is no communication at all. On my 53 birthday, on the 18th of March, I told him it was over. He has not said one word about it, not one word! I don't think he believes me. I always just accept his behaviour. This time I am NOT going to. This time I am going to find a way out. I will NOT be afraid any longer.

I would rather be alone, than lonely," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Poem

"I saw a black crow in a field of white snow.




Crow on snow


black on white


warm on cold


free on bound


life on death


crow on snow.




What do you think?" I whisper.


Are you listening?