Isolation

"isolate v.1. to place apart or alone. 2. to separate from others. isolation n.

I got up early this morning, 8am. I know for some people that would be sleeping in. For me, it is about 3 hours earlier than normal. I know now why I don't get up. It makes the day too long and too lonely. By the time 3 pm rolled around I was so lonely and down, I could barely move. I just sat down and cried.

At 4pm my partner called to say he was on his way home from work. He wanted to know what was the matter. I don't think he really understands how lonely forced isolation is. It is like being put in solitary confinment.

I don't have a choice over whether or not I spend the day alone. I have to. I live out in the country, don't drive and have no friends out here. So everyday, day in and day out, I am alone. The people I know either work or are busy with their own lives, so no one comes to see me and no one calls me except my daughter for about 2 minutes a day and my partner at noon and when he leaves work.

I don't know what to do or how to make it better. I can't imagine spending the rest of my live like this. Another day seems impossible, let alone years." I whisper.

Are you listening?