Love

"My daughter, in her criminolgy course, is now studing Psychology. I picked up her book and was flipping through it when I came on a chapter on emotions, in particular, love. I found it fascinating. A Robert Steinberg, proposes a three component theory of love.

Intimacy is "those feelings in a relationship that promote closeness, bondedness, and connedtedness."

Passion refers to those drives in a loving relationship "that lead to romance, physuical attraction, and sexual consummation."

Commitment consists of 2 aspects, a short term one "the decision that one person loves another and a long term one " the commitment the person makes to maintaining that love over time."


He then goes on to suggest that these 3 components can be combined in various ways to form different kinds of love. These are:

Liking - has only one component, intimacy.

Empty love - you feel commitment to the relationship but intimacy and passion are no longer present.

Infatuated love - strong passion with little intimacy and weak commitment.

Romantic love - strong passion and great intimacy with weak commitment.

Fatuous love - has passion and commitment but lacks intimacy.

Companionate love - high intimacy and commitment with little passion.

Consumate love - the only type with all three components in great intensity.

This helps explain my relationship, but makes me sad. Where does yours fit in?" I whisper.

Are you listening?