2006 in Review

"This has been an eventful year. The main theme of it seems to have been pushing bounderies, overcoming fears. I have learned that the expression "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself" to be oh so true.

I travelled by myself for the first time in my life. I have always been afraid to, yet I learned I had nothing to fear. I managed fine.

I have always been afraid of bringing attention to myself but this past year I started Women in Black in Fredericton and put myself right up front for the whole world to see. I spoke on CBC Radio, I "stand on the street corner" protesting violence in a city where the main employer is the military base.

I have pushed myself to make connections in the community, forming friendships and risking rejection and while there have been some hurts, I have also made some very good friends.

I began volunteering teaching English to immigrant women and have found it a wonderful addition to my life. These women have taught me as much as I have taught them.

My daughter Sarah became pregnant and rather than the chaos and fear I always believed I would feel if this were to happen, instead it has brought us closer together, given us an opportunity for a second chance at our relationship.

My eldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. We have not had a relationship in years and now, because I ignored the boundaries imposed on our relationship, by time, distance and a dysfunctional past, we are building a new relationship that I hope will last.

My partner and I have worked through some very difficult problems and our relationship is better than ever. Again this is because I pushed boundaries, got out of my comfort zone and overcame my fears.

I survived my son moving out which I felt would be very traumatic. Instead it has been an education in learning to let go, not worry, and realizing that he is a capable young man, who will not only survive, but thrive without me mothering him.

Although 2006 was at times extremely traumatic, it has proved to be a very good year for personal growth and relationship building. I believe that 2007 will be even better. I hope that your 2006 was a year of growth and learning too.

I want to end this review with a quote I find very inspiring:

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential."
~Ellen Goodman

May we all find things to be proud of, things to be thankful for, things to continue with, in the past year. Happy New Year!!" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Christmas Treasure

"Years ago while I was a student putting myself through university, I worked at the public library. Here I got exposed to books of all kinds including those of poets that most people have never heard of. One of these poets was a litle 8 year old french girl, Minou Drouet. I was so impressed by her writing, that I kept a note of the name of her book for almost 30 years! Browsing abebooks.com one day I searched for her book and was surprised to find a copy. My partner bought it for me for christmas and I have been enjoying the incredible ability of this little girl ever since. I would like to share one of her poems with you.

Garden

Give me your hand at once
for I know a little corner
where we can rest apart
and nibble the shiny morning
like a strawberry tart.

Come to my dear otherwhere
where no one has ever been,
and I will gather
to fill your lap
the sad flowers of my dream.

The sea is my big garden,
and when I return my arms are full
of the flowers which border its dress
and their crystal
petals
all smooth with cloud
fall down in A minor
round my heart.

The wind ploughs my garden
and under its big hands
I feel the green furrows deepen
on the round horizon.

Come quickly there
and surprise the voice
of the world's most lovely garden.
It dwells in a sail
the color of autumn and fire
which plays
on the sky's blue body
a chord
straining to the farthest distance
the highest
and higher still
straining to the same otherwhere
as my heart's inner despair.

Lovely isn't it?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Happy Holidays

"I would like to wish all my friends, family and readers a very happy holiday season. I am not christian, but I do celebrate christmas. I love the season, the tree, the food and the gifts. I celebrate because it is my family tradition and I can, with a clear conscience, make it fit in with my own spiritual beliefs. I leave the "christ" out of christmas and see it as a winter celebration, the hope for the returning of the sun and for spring. My tree is decorated in seasonal and pagan symbols, not a christian one in sight! The irony of the christian "christmas" is that it is actually a retelling of a multitude of earlier legends of a sun god born of a virgin and then sacrificed. Regardless of what you believe, I hope that you have a wonderful holiday with lots of good food, great company and are surrounded with love.

Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah!

Quotes 4

"Here are a few quotes on romance to brighten your day. At least they did mine.

"The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and impossibility may become the rule."
~ Anita Brookner

"Love lasts about seven years. That's how long it takes for the cells of the body to totally replace themselves."
~ Francoise Sagan

It's afterwards you realize that the feeling of happiness you had with a man didn't necessarily prove that you loved him."
~Marguerite Duras

"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office."
~Shirley MacLaine

"Great passions, my dear, don't exist: They're liars' fantasies. What do exist are little loves that may last for a short or a longer while."
~Anna Magnani

"If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humor was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!"
~Kate Beckinsale

"There are men I could spend eternity with, but not this life."
~Kathleen Norris

How do you feel about romance?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Blood Diamonds

"Tonight my daughter Sarah, my partner and I saw the movie "Blood Diamond". I already knew some of the tragedy behind the diamond trade. Seeing it portrayed in a movie though, makes it far more real and horrifying. I am not a jewellery type woman and have never wanted diamonds. After seeing the movie and reading some of the information online that I have found, at sources such as Amnesty International, CSR Wire, The Centre for Public Integrity and the United Nations, I have even less desire for one that is soaked in blood. I hope that everyone who sees this movie is inspired to find out more about this tragic trade and insists that any diamonds they purchase or that are purchased for them are conflict free diamonds. Peoples lives are worth far more than a fancy rock," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Christmas Cookies

"I love the smells of this time of year. The spicy scent of the christmas tree, the warm smoky smell of the fire in the stove, the crisp clean scent of cold air and the smell of frankincense bringing back memories of midnight mass. My favourite smells though have to be those of the special cookies baked at this time of year. And the one that will always be the smell of christmas to me is the German cookie Pfeffernuesse. So for everyone who finds this page, here is the recipe for my favourite christmas cookie, that is guaranteed to make your home smell like christmas.

Pfeffernuesse

4 cups of sifted flour
1teaspoon cloves
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon aniseed
1 tablespoon cardamon seed

2 tablespoons butter
2 1/2 cups icing sugar

Grated rind of 1 lemon
1/4 lb. (100gms) candied orange peel
1/2 bl (200gms) candied citron

5 eggs, seperated

Mix the flour and spices together. Add the seeds. In a large bowl cream the butter, gradually adding the sugar. Beat till light (no lumps of butter). Add the egg yolks. Blend well. Add the dry ingredients, lemon rind and fruit. It will be all dry when mixed together, nothing will be sticking together. Beat the egg whites. Gradually fold into the flour mixture. Blend really well, will still look quite dry. Chill for at least an hour. Shape into small balls and place on a teatowel, letting stand uncovered over night. Bake on an ungreased baking sheet at 350 degreees for 15-20 minutes. Makes about 9 dozen cookies.

Have these with a good cup of coffee, while listening to christmas music, watching the snow fall or admiring your tree. I hope you enjoy," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Long Night Moon

"Tonight is the night of the December full moon. Every full moon my partner builds a fire in the fire pit and we sit and watch the moon. The fire pit is in a clearing, a path leads from it deeper into the woods. On the nights of the full moon, she sends her rays down the path lighting it with magic. Tonight the woods were still, muffled in our first real snowfall of the winter. The trees, dark against the sky, had their branches dusted heavily with snow. The fire sent sparks flying out into the night. They would land on the snow and glitter until they were extinguished in a quick burst of light. As I sat there, looking deep into the fire, sipping my tea, I listened to the wind in the trees, felt the odd dusting of snow on my face and felt completely at peace. The moon, beautiful in her fullness shone through the bare trees, sending her light down on such a wonderful world. I am so lucky to live where I live," I whisper.

Are you listening?