Happy Birthday Sarah

"Today is my daughter Sarah's birthday. She is 21 years old. She was a week late and arrived when Victoria was covered with snow. It's funny, 21 years later and once again it is. We aren't there to enjoy it, but some is expected here in New Brunswick tonight. That will be nice.

Sarah was 8 lbs 6oz when she was born. My son had been 6lbs 8ozs, so when I saw Sarah for the first time, I couldn't believe she was a new born. You think funny things when you have just given birth! Sarah was wide eyed and in love with the world from the first moment she arrived. She has always been enthusiastic, kind, compassioniate and loving. That's not to say perfect, because she has her moments, like we all do.

Sarah has taught me more than anyone else has. Knowing her has forced me to push my boundaries; understand that everyone is NOT like me and then accept them for who they are; and she has taught me how to be more spontaneous.

So on her 21st birthday I would like to thank my daughter Sarah for the gift she has been to me. I love her dearly and am so proud of the beautiful young woman she has become. Happy Birthday, baby girl," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Intercourse

"Have you ever read a book that has completely changed the way you view something, or that has reinforced or giving voice to what you believe? As a teenager, I read Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. This had a tremendous impact on my way of thinking and now I am reading another book that has given voice to what I have thought for years. This is Andrea Dworkin's Intercourse. It appalls me that I have never heard of this woman before. Where have I been? How could I have not have heard of her?

For all of you that are interested in the female/male relationship, which I believe we all should be because it pervades all of our lives, you should read this book. It will change forever, the way you see our society, our world, our lives. That is, if you are able to acknowledge the truth of what Andrea Dworkin says. If not you will write her off as another manhating, feminist bitch who just doesn't get it. And from what I have read so far, she would say that attitude just proves her point. Has anyone read this book? If so, what do you think of what she says? Tell me." I whisper.

Are you listening?

The Seige of Gaza

"Women in Black, the group I stand in vigil with, against violence and war, is having a world wide action day on December 2nd against the seige of Gaza by the Israeli Government. As our normal vigil day is the 1st, we will hold our action then. I hope to get more than a mere two people out! Here is a link to an online petition to Stop the Seige! Stop the War! Please read it and sign if you agree with it. Wherever you are, look for a peace rally this weekend and attend. Innocent people are being killed and injured and while they are alive, their lives are filled with terror, poverty and oppression, while men in power remain safe and secure. Is this the kind of world we want to live in? I don't." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Wedge16b

"This blog gets picked up by Wedge16b's kinja site. I would love to know who Wedge 16b is. Please post a comment so I can find out. The suspense is killing me. " I whisper.

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Love

"My daughter, in her criminolgy course, is now studing Psychology. I picked up her book and was flipping through it when I came on a chapter on emotions, in particular, love. I found it fascinating. A Robert Steinberg, proposes a three component theory of love.

Intimacy is "those feelings in a relationship that promote closeness, bondedness, and connedtedness."

Passion refers to those drives in a loving relationship "that lead to romance, physuical attraction, and sexual consummation."

Commitment consists of 2 aspects, a short term one "the decision that one person loves another and a long term one " the commitment the person makes to maintaining that love over time."


He then goes on to suggest that these 3 components can be combined in various ways to form different kinds of love. These are:

Liking - has only one component, intimacy.

Empty love - you feel commitment to the relationship but intimacy and passion are no longer present.

Infatuated love - strong passion with little intimacy and weak commitment.

Romantic love - strong passion and great intimacy with weak commitment.

Fatuous love - has passion and commitment but lacks intimacy.

Companionate love - high intimacy and commitment with little passion.

Consumate love - the only type with all three components in great intensity.

This helps explain my relationship, but makes me sad. Where does yours fit in?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

What If We Don't ?

"I had never stopped to really think about it beyond the obvious, but war has a huge environmental impact that lasts for generations. How much of an impact I learned tonight at a talk put on by the Fredericton Peace Coalition. Gloria Paul of Project Ploughshares gave a fascinating talk on the environmental impact of war. What I found even more frightening than the information she shared, was that fact that there were only 7 people there to hear her speak. How in a city of 50,000 with additional thousands within half an hours drive, could no one else be interested? Is it due to the fact that CFB Gagetown, our local military base is probably the biggest employer in the province? Or that the Irvings, who control the media in New Brunswick, make a huge profit off of the base? Or is it that people really just don't care? That frightens me more than any other possiblity, the thought that we, as a species, the only species that can control it's own destiny, really don't care about our own survival," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Addendum: The speech is now online at www.frederictonpeace.org

Here There be Dragons

My partner and I finished this 1000 piece puzzle last week. It was a lot of fun to do, but very difficult. I think shaped puzzles are the most challenging, getting all those edge pieces and figuring out which way the go, especially on the turns was really hard. My partner has mounted the puzzle on a board and it will hang in my son's apartment. It was HIS puzzle, he gave up because it was too hard! Makes these "old folks" feel pretty good that they accomplished something younger ones were not able to do. YES!!!

I always have loved the title to this blog, whenever I have seen it on old maps. It makes one feel that magic is not gone from the earth, that there are still places undiscovered and things unknown. At the same time it warns of danger and bids one beware. This is how I feel about my life right now, so many things happening, all with the potential to be either bad or good, depending upon what I "discover" in the process of dealing with them. Life is like the uncharted and unexplored, we never know what is coming, we can only hope that the "dragons" are friendly." I whisper.

Are you listening?

Immigrant Women

"This evening I volunteered with the Immigrant Women's English class. I love going, these women are so interested in learning, they are intelligent and eager. It breaks my heart that so many of them sit at home alone day after day because they have no one to talk to, no one who is willing just to have a conversation with them. I hear time and again how unfriendly and unwilling to talk the people of Fredericton are. I don't understand this. How can people not be willing to show a little friendship to these women who have come from all over the world to our city and just want to be able to call it home? It never will be home for them if they are unwelcomed and ignored. I gave my phone number to one lovely woman and told her to call me, that I would help her with her English. She said, "You will help me?" When I said yes, she burst into tears. This woman has sat at home for a year because no-one has shown her friendship. It takes so little to make someone happy, a couple of hours, once a week, just talking and listening. Who of us, doesn't have a couple of hours to give? It can change someone's life," I whisper.

Are you listening?"

Link to Fredericton Immigrant Women's English Class if you are interested in volunteering or need help with your English.

Good Books

"I have been doing some very interesting reading lately and thought I would pass on a few titles. A History of the World in 6 Glasses, by Tom Standage is a fascinating account of the history of beer, wine, hard liquor, tea, coffee and coca cola. It is incredible how these drinks have influenced the very course of history. An easy read and well worth it.

Next up, If this is your land, Where are your stories? by J. Edward Chamberlin makes me envious. If only I could write so well! A must read for anyone interested in the stories we tell and how they connect and seperate various cultures.

And last but by no means least Looking in the Distance by Richard Holloway is a book discussing the search for meaning in a world where there seems to be no straight path but only doubts and fears.

All of these books are well worth reading," I whisper.

Are you listening?

Glaucoma

"I have been trying to blog for days. Got fixated on one idea, wanted to upload a picture and it wouldn't work so rather than write on the 101 other things I've been meaning too, I just kept on that one. Well today is different. Everyday for about 2 weeks now, something bad has happened, either with Sarah (in and out of the hospital); my sister and her breast cancer (her whole breast is infected, antibiotics, cutting away the infected flesh etc. isn't working and she can't start her chemo as long as there is infection);my mother (her eyes are infected) and now today, my partner was diagnosed with glaucoma, the leading cause of blindness in the world. There is no cure and any damage already done is irreversible. All that can be done is to try and prevent any more damage. What else can go wrong?" I whisper.

Are you listening?

Women in Black

"Tomorrow is our vigil day. I love to go but I am always worried whether anyone else will show. I can't stand alone, but hate to always call and ask if people are going to be there. I have to take a taxi into town and hate to do it, have no one else there and then what do I do? I have the signs, can't really carry them around the mall with me. Oh well, just got to have faith I guess. I really wish that the people of Fredericton were more activist minded, then perhaps I wouldn't have to worry, more could be counted on. I really believe that once local boys start dying, that people will wake up and realise that this is not the way to resolve conflicts. Then perhaps we will grow. I would love to see dozens of women standing on all four corners of the intersection where we stand. Maybe some day." I whisper.

Are you listening?